


Plance Playlist One Shots

by heymrbusiness



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff, No Smut, Songfic, a whole lot of everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-07
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:41:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24046081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heymrbusiness/pseuds/heymrbusiness
Summary: Plance one shots based off of the songs on my playlist :) my playlist is long so you can expect a lot of writing. The chapters are *inspired*, not completely based off of the song, so it's not a "songfic" per say, but like...you get it.(there won't be any smut and it's just gonna be a lot of happiness and probably some angst)
Relationships: Lance & Pidge | Katie Holt, Lance/Pidge | Katie Holt
Comments: 5
Kudos: 26





	1. things might improve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER TERRIBLE DAY (THE LIGHTNING THIEF MUSICAL)
> 
> Camp Half-Blood AU
> 
> I got so pumped when I hit shuffle and this came up.

Lance groaned as he sulked to the Big House. _I'm screwed_ , he thought, _so utterly and absolutely screwed_. 

Mr. D was _not_ gonna have any mercy. But it was one time! It was completely unfair that Shiro had sent him over here, like...like he was at a school! And everyone knew how that went for demigods like him. You got sent to the principal's office, and you never came back to class. In-school-suspension, expulsion, actual suspension, you name it, it'd find a way to be applied to Lance at any school he went to. It's not his fault all the evil stuff follows him around like he's the mother of the thing, it's more of his dad's fault. So, you know what Shiro? You can stick your big fat fake expulsion and shove it right up your hairy- 

"It doesn't even make sense! I didn't do _shit_ , this is completely not my fault. You have to believe me, Allura!" 

Recognizing the voice, Lance turned to see his friends Allura, daughter of Aphrodite, and Pidge, daughter of Demeter, arguing. Allura was was wearing a flower crown around her head, made of violets, forget-me-nots, and orchids (Pidge had taught the names to him). Pidge, however, had a few flowers in her hair (a rose and a few daisies), but nowhere near enough for a crown like Allura's. As she complained, her hair jostled around with every angry and exaggerated motion. Lance watched as a daisy floated out of her hair and onto the ground. 

Lance walked over to the girls and picked the flower off of the ground. "Hi guys," Lance greeted, smiling. He looked at the daisy in his hand and cleared his throat, looking back up to meet Pidge's eyes. "Uh, this is for you- I mean, this is yours." He handed the daisy to Pidge, who grabbed it thankfully and tucked it back in her hair. "Where are you guys headed?" 

"Well personally, I'm not headed anywhere," Allura said. Sometimes Lance would kinda forget that Allura wasn't from the US. She had developed more of an American accent with time, but she came from somewhere in Europe. It's not like Europe had their own Camp Half-Blood or anything. "Pidge, however-" 

"I didn't do anything!" Pidge groaned. "It just kinda _happened_ , ya know? It's not my fault I haven't learned to control my powers or whatever. No need to send me to the freakin' Big House like I'm an elementary child."

"You're heading to the Big House?" Lance asked. "So am I! What'd you do?"

"Nothing."

"She got a little frustrated and started to grow flowers in some...interesting places," Allura admitted. "Romelle had no choice but to send her over, otherwise there'd be a whole fist fight with Pidge against James Griffin." 

"Why didn't he get sent over too, then?" Lance asked. 

"That's what _I_ said!" Pidge complained. 

"Because James didn't do anything except yell a little. He didn't _actually_ throw a punch. Pidge was first to attack, and Romelle knew it."

Lance couldn't help but laugh a little bit. Of course Pidge was the one to start the fight. She'd start the fights, but she'd finish them, too. It's something Lance admired about her. Like his friend Keith from Ares Cabin, for example. He'd always pick fights with kids that'd piss him off. And yeah, while he could finish the fights, Pidge was extremely underestimated. Nobody would expect Katie "Pidge" Holt, the awkward and seemingly shy Demeter girl to pack such a good punch. And that's something he liked about her. 

"I was gonna walk Pidge here to the Big House but since you're both gonna be there," Allura nudged Pidge, "you wouldn't mind taking Pidge there for me, would you, Lance?" 

"Oh, not at all," Lance shrugged. "C'mon, Pidge." 

"Wha-" Pidge started, and sighed. She followed behind him, catching up to his side quickly. Faintly, behind him, Lance could hear Allura's giggle. 

The two walked pretty quietly, with the occasional comment about the weather or one of their siblings, but the silence was painfully awkward. The two hadn't talked in a few days, which should give them plenty to talk about, but nothing felt right to say. It's weird, because he and Pidge were normally so chill, but Lance couldn't think of anything to say to her. 

"So...what'd you get sent here for?" Pidge finally broke the silence.

"It's a little embarrassing," Lance admitted. "I was...I was at the archery range, and...ya know, talked some smack at Rolo." 

Pidge burst out laughing. "You mean - you mean the Apollo kid? The child of the literal god of archery?" she snorted. 

"Uh, yeah," Lance blushed. "I mean, it was kinda in-the-moment...but he got like super mad about it, so uh, he shot at me, right? But then I got so mad while he made fun of me that I got like this deadly perfect aim, I guess? And I kinda shot him into a tree..?"

Pidge cackled and almost doubled over. "You're a dumbass," she decided, giving him a warm look. Something fluttered in the pit of his stomach, which was odd. That didn't happen around Pidge. 

"What can I say? Another day at Camp Half-Blood where everything's the weirdest!" Lance laughed, shoving his hands in his pockets and picking at the lint. She giggled lightly at the response. 

He just noticed Pidge's outfit. She was wearing a Camp Half-Blood T-shirt, as everyone did around here, but hers was too big for her body. It was all bundled up and overflowing out of her light denim overalls. She wasn't actually wearing the overalls properly, in fact, the overall part was hanging from her waist and in front of her legs. It didn't seem comfortable, but Pidge seemed to like it. It was clear that Allura had tried to pick out an outfit for her, but Pidge had compromised with her. The only weird thing about it was _why_? Why would Allura want to dress her up?

Probably just to try some news clothes on Pidge. She didn't dress up often, so maybe that was her goal. 

They stopped in front of the door of the Big House. Both sighed, and Lance looked over to Pidge. "Maybe he's in a good mood," he suggested. Pidge clicked her tongue and shook her head lightly, laughing. They both knew that wasn't true. Mr. D was almost always in a bad mood, and if he wasn't, then he'd cover it with a bad mood. Lance grabbed the doorknob and swung the door open. 

The two peered into the darkly lit living room-esque area. No sign of Mr. D anywhere. The pair looked over to each other hesitantly. 

"Should we just leave?" Lance asked. "What Mr. D doesn't know won't hurt him." Pidge seemed to be hoping she could yes, giving him a kind of innocent look. Frankly, his heart melted just looking at the odd face she gave him 

"He probably already heard us come in. Just sit on the couch."

The two walked in, Pidge closing the door behind them. Lance flopped onto the royal purple couch and cuddled into a leopard print blanket.

"What are you doing? Mr. D's gonna be mad you touched his shit!" Pidge insisted.

Lance got up, walking to the wall, where a scarf hung from a hook. "What, like this kinda shit?" he smirked. 

"Lance, you're already in trouble, don't get yourself into more of it!" Pidge started, but Lance had already swiped the scarf and shoved it into his jacket pocket. 

"Freaking Hermes kids, I swear," she muttered. Lance smiled at he fact that he got a reaction from his choice. 

Suddenly, the apparent noise of footsteps got loud as Mr. D walked into the room. Pidge and Lance turned to the god, gave each other one last look, and glanced over to Mr. D. "Oh, you're alive. I suppose that's good news for you, but it means a lot more paperwork for me," Mr. D stated. 


	2. and i can do my best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge didn't like Lance at first, but slowly, she got a little used to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> USED TO YOU (MXMTOON)
> 
> A Garrison era fic, just for fun
> 
> I love this song and this album SO much :) please don't yell at me about what this song is about because the lyrics are kinda vague and ambiguous and the fic is only based on the song sooo yeah

"I'm sorry, what?" Katie asked.

Lance raised an eyebrow. "Well, like, we're on the same simulator team, you know?" he shrugged. "You should probably have my phone number."

She thought it over. Yes, she should probably have his number for school if she wanted to keep up her grades. But having Lance McClain's phone number meant having to develop a friendship with the kid, and this whole mission definitely does not involve getting attached to anyone at the Garrison, especially someone as charismatic as he was. The less suspicious answer would've been to say sure, but Katie Holt 100% did not want anything to do with Lance McClain.

"I have Hunk's number," Katie lied, walking out of the conversation as quick as she could.

"I, uh, guess I'll see you later, man!" Lance called out after her. Katie winced. She'd never get used to this. \- 

"Watcha doing?"

Katie jumped out of shock so aggressively that Matt's glasses almost fell off her nose. "Jeez, Lance, don't sneak up on me like that! It's not funny!" She tried closing her laptop as inconspicuously as she could manage, smiling awkwardly at Lance.

He reached forward and tried to open the laptop, but Katie determinedly held it in place. "Why can't I see what you're doing?" Lance asked her. Katie took the laptop from the lunch table and held it tightly to her chest. 

"It's just...my stuff, you know?" Katie managed. "Like, stuff that's my business and no one else's?"

Lance hummed in understanding. "Okay, that's fine," he said. "Hey, uh, you mind if Hunk and I sit with you for lunch today?"

Well that's definitely not the response she was expecting. Maybe rip the computer from her arms or continue to press her about it, but never "okay, that's fine." And now he wants to sit with her at lunch? After not opening up to him, he wants to sit next to her? And why would anyone want to sit next to her anyway? Nobody has never asked Katie if she wanted to sit with them. This was new. She'd never get used to this.

"Oh, uh...no, no I don't mind," Katie managed. "Uh, sit down, I guess."

Lance smiled and set a lunch tray on the table. Hunk started walking over from the lunch line, and Katie had to stop herself from smiling. No, she couldn't get used to these guys, she couldn't start to like their company. In fact, she should've said no. Why'd she even say yes in the first place? The novelty of sitting next to someone during lunch kinda disrupted her train of thought. This wasn't supposed to happen.

But what was so bad about having a few friends? Maybe that'd seem more normal. Maybe she'd seem less like an outsider.

No. She 100% wanted nothing to do with Lance McClain, or even Hunk Garrett.

-

"Psst, Pidge, let's go!"

Katie snapped out of her daze and turned to Lance. "Go where?" she whispered, slightly annoyed. He gave her a look, like she should be remembering something that she wasn't. Thinking back to that entire day, she remembered Lance's dramatic plan to sneak out for the night. Recognizing what he meant, she glared at him.

"I already told you I wasn't going," she insisted, turning back to her computer. Lance stood at her dorm door and rolled his eyes.

"Pidge, we're supposed to be a team, remember? We have to, like, be friends? Team bond!" he insisted, walking into her dorm. Pidge felt how painfully far into her room he was without even looking over at him. She angrily blew a strand of hair out of her face.

"Look, Lance, you seem nice enough, but I'm more focused on being successful than sneaking out with you and Hunk for some stupid 'team-building exercise.' So, please, if you could just leave my dorm and be on your way, that would be great," Katie snapped, furiously typing on her laptop's keyboard.

At first, she was pretty sure that Lance had left the room. It had gone dead silent for a solid fifteen seconds after she spoke, but Katie didn't know why she hadn't heard the door close. It wasn't until he spoke again that Katie realized how close he had actually been to her. "Well, I mean, if you want to succeed, you'd probably want to know how your team works, right?"

Katie turned to look at him. His lips were pulled into a tight line and he shrugged. "I'm just saying. And hey, if you think I seem 'nice enough', maybe you should see if I actually am! C'mon, would it be so bad to hang out with someone who seems 'nice enough'?"

She glanced at her computer and then back at Lance. Damn, if only she could read this boy's mind. Sighing, Katie looked around the room, trying not to meet Lance's eyes. "You're gonna hold that over my head, aren't you?"

"Maybe a little," Lance shrugged. He gave her a smirk that she had to smile at. Two people couldn't be so bad. They didn't have to know about Matt or her Dad or that she was a girl. Katie could lie well enough.

"Fine," she sighed. Lance grabbed her arm and pulled her out of her dorm, and Katie had to resist the urge to smile.

It was one trip. She obviously didn't want anything to do with these boys, no matter who they were supposed to be to her.

-

"I honestly don't see the big deal."

Katie tried to put words in her own mouth. "Uh, well it's just...I don't like giving my phone number out to people who I'm not like super close with," she decided. "It's not your fault, it's just a personal preference."

Lance crossed his arms. "Well, I'd say we're pretty close. I mean, we work at school together everyday, and both of us have snuck out of our dorms together with Hunk multiple times. I'd say that counts."

When Katie didn't respond, Lance sighed. "Well, I guess we'll just have to get closer, then."

Why was this boy so set on getting her stupid phone number? He was so dramatic, God, and so stupidly determined. She'd never get used to having friends.

Wait, friends? Hunk and Lance were most certainly not her friends. How would Katie even know, she's never had friends before. Is this what friendship is? Sure, Pidge -- Katie had seen enough movies and read enough books to know what a friendship looks like, but had never genuinely experienced it. Maybe this is friendship, maybe Lance was right, they were actually close. 

"Just..." Pidge started. She grabbed her phone, unlocked it, and gave it to him. "Here, just type it in."

-

"No way! You play?"

Pidge paused Killbot Phantasm and turned to Lance at the foot of her dorm room. "Of course. I'm not uncultured."

Lance ran over to a spot on the floor next to her and sat down. "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to find someone who plays!" he insisted, grabbing an unused controller. "How the hell did you even get it to connect to your computer?"

"Well, it's easy, but I don't think you'd care to hear all of my coding techniques," she laughed. "And you can't play right now, I'm in the middle of a boss battle!"

Lance's eyes widened. "How did you even pass Level 17?"

Pidge smirked. "I have my ways."

Lance bowed to her, moving his arms up and down in an attempt to fan her. Pidge laughed, and Lance smirked, continuing. "Teach me your ways, great master!"

"Maybe someday," Pidge shrugged, and unpaused Killbot Phantasm to continue her game. Lance watched in almost awe as Pidge kicked the boss's ass. 

_

Pidge slid down the little hill as Hunk and Lance continued to run. If Shiro was there, he had to know where Matt and her dad were. She was so close to the truth, she could practically taste it. All she had to do was help Hunk and Lance get Shiro somewhere safe, and wrestle him from the grasps of whoever this Keith guy was.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't the easiest feat, but it was going to be worth it.

Pidge tripped over a rock while she was lost in thought and hit her leg against the ground, hard. She cussed and cradled it, scared of all the guards who would soon reach her. She tried getting up, but was overwhelmed with the pain of the large gash on her knee. Pidge let out a small cry, and Lance turned around. "Pidge!" he called, running over to her.

Normally, Pidge would've swatted away a boy's hands, especially Lance's. But she needed help right now, and they were all in danger of getting in huge trouble. He picked her up, and wrapped an arm around her waist as he helped her across the flat land. Pidge's face flamed, but she had to remind herself that Lance thought she was a boy. The arm wrapped around her waist was nothing other than a helping hand.

Still, knowing someone like Lance was different. Before she met the two boys, she'd always want to be by herself or with her brother, at the most. Now, she didn't really feel that way too often anymore. As they ran across the ground, she came to terms that she had finally gotten used to Lance McClain and all of the expansion packs that came with him.


	3. now it's time to step up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance is barely ready to graduate college, but at least Pidge will be with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READY AS I'LL EVER BE (TANGLED: THE SERIES)
> 
> Post-canon and canon divergence because FUCK LANCE BEING A FARMER
> 
> :) this is SO self-indulgent tbh because I CAN'T GRADUATE RN  
> also this is just a lot of Lance loving his friends and family and thinking about his life n stuff sooo yeah?

Lance looked in the mirror. His robe was shiny and very, very blue, which was pretty ironic. The tassel on the top of his cap was a yellowish gold, not matching any other piece of clothing he was wearing, and it kept falling to the front of his face. Lance knew he wouldn't be receiving any awards or anything, so he actually had to make the area around his neck look presentable. A black tie poked out of the lowest part of the v-neck.

He wasn't looking forward to this ceremony.

It was great that Rachel was coming out from where she was living in New York to come see him graduate. He'd be going to her graduation next week. And it was great that he'd be there with his friends, and his girlfriend, and his family. But it was the overwhelming ideas of every other part of graduating that had been plaguing him for the past week.

"Lance, ready, dude?" Hunk called from their kitchen.

"Yeah, man, just give me a second!" Lance yelled back, readjusting his tie for the hundredth time. Everything would be fine.

He left his room and took a glance around the room to see if anyone else had stopped by (they hadn't). Lance could barely believe he'd be moving out of this apartment in a matter of weeks. He and Hunk had been living here since they were freshmen, and now, four years later, they were graduating college and becoming official _adult_ adults. Sure, they were technically adults when back they turned eighteen, but now was when the world became more unforgiving. Well, more unforgiving than it already had been to Lance.

Hunk's robe was the same color as his, but he was given a yellowish cord for Top 10% in their class. Hunk was an absolute genius, so Lance wasn't all that surprised. He was sure that when Pidge graduated, she'd come on that stage with about three hundred cords, badges, and other decorative accessories.

The two drove to the church where the ceremony was being held. Lance didn't know if that was normal. He may be the baby of his family, but he's the first to graduate from college, or to even go. Lance and Rachel had made the hard decision of going to colleges across the country from each other and Lance and Pidge had made the hard decision of doing long distance. Not to mention deciding to even go to college in the first place. All of that for this: a degree in psychology that he would probably never use, little to no time with his twin sister, and a difficult relationship with his girlfriend.

Not to say that they didn't love each other. Lance recognized quickly that he couldn't say that their relationship is "hard", since that'd imply that it's not healthy, or consensual, or that it was going to end very soon. The relationship itself was fine, he loved Pidge, and Pidge loved him. They'd been dating for four-ish years, since the very end of what would've been Lance's senior year, and they'd never broken up or gone on a break. The part that made the relationship "hard" was the having to FaceTime instead of seeing each other face to face, the not being in each other's lives, the not having time for each other with all their schoolwork, and the constant "it'll never last" comments. But it has.

Lance and Hunk would be seeing Pidge for the first time today since winter break. She'd be in the audience, next to all of Hunk and Lance's siblings, cheering just as loud for both of them.

A piece of high school Lance died when he remembered that Allura wouldn't be there. Hunk had remembered it too, recently. He had assured Lance that she was watching from above in the stars. Lance knew in his heart that Hunk was right, and ultimately felt better about it. He missed the princess like hell, as a shoulder to cry on and a friend more than a lover, but so did everyone else. Allura was in a better place now. She's happy for him.

Lance was so lost in thought that the drive there felt like seconds. He and Hunk had taken different cars so that Shay and Pidge could catch rides with them. With the two girls and the two boys all living in the house together for about two weeks, it'd be like they were on a double date everyday, as Shay suggested. Pidge and Shay were ecstatic to be not only staying with the boys, but with each other.

Climbing out of the car, Lance continued to space out. There's no way this could all be real. He had finished school, he never had to sit in a smelly classroom and learn something pointless again. Hunk must've noticed, because he came up behind Lance and patted him on the shoulder.

"Ready, dude?" Hunk smiled. Lance chuckled lightly, giving Hunk a side hug.

"Ready as I can be."

_

Walking onstage was surreal.

Lance had been startled when they called Hunk's name, much less his. It wasn't until he heard Rachel's wild screaming and his mother's "THAT'S MY SON!" that he even processed that he was supposed to be on the stage.

He grabbed a handful of his robe and lifted it a little so he could make it up the stairs, and took a breath. _Here we go._ Lance started to walk across the stage in what felt like slow motion. Why was the stage so long all of a sudden? Why were so many people cheering? Why was it so _loud_ in here? He could barely hear himself breathe. Why wasn't he at the end of the stage yet? Hasn't he been walking for twenty minutes already? Lance's hand reached out to grab the diploma from the professor's hands, and it felt surreal to hold his four years of hard work in his palm. All of this for a piece of paper?

What was the use of college? Wasn't he going to be working at the Garrison? He didn't even get to go to high school, why was he here? Technically, he's way older than 22, since there was that time they went missing for 3 years? That was weird. But true. He'd be, like, what, 25? Ish? Lance's brain hurt. He didn't want to be here. Why was he here? Why couldn't he just be the same age as the rest of his friends? It would've be great if he didn't have to leave Shiro, Keith, Coran, Romelle. And Pidge. God, why did she have to be two years younger than him? She was in college now. She was a sophomore in college. Why did she always have to be so far away? Why was his family so far away? Why were his friends so far away? As much as he'd never want to admit it, his Voltron team was his family as much as Rachel or Luis or Veronica or Marco. He only had them, for years of his life. And he loved them. He missed them. He-

Lance glances at the audience and almost gave himself whiplash in the process. His family was there. Yes, obviously, Rachel and the rest of his siblings, his niece Nadia, and his nephew Sylvio, along with his abuela and his parents. But it was more than that. More people. Shiro and his husband Curtis. Keith and Krolia. Romelle, Coran, Rizavi, Kinkade, Griffin, Leifsdotter.

And Pidge.

She sat there in the audience, but he could only see her. He knew it was her. For some odd reason, Lance recalled the beginning of High School Musical 3. As a kid, Lance never understood that scene, but he thinks he gets it now. She stood out from the crowd more than anyone. Pidge was smiling as big as ever, her hands clapping enthusiastically. She whooped and cheered. When he made eye contact with her, he knew it was over for him. The sincerity in her eyes almost made him tear up. God, he'd missed her.

He'd missed all of them. Lance could barely believe they were here, in person, right in front of him. His found family. Lance couldn't help but grin. He turned his head and finished his walk off stage. He'd be alright.

While it took forever, the ceremony finally ended, and they were dismissed. He was not one of those people to throw their cap, since he knew his mom would want to keep it more than anything. Lance left his seat as soon as he could, running out to the hallway behind the auditorium.

And of course, there she was. In a black sheer top with a black tank top underneath and high-waisted jeans that he knew made her look taller. Her hair was very lightly curled and two bobby pins made an X on the side of her head. They made eye contact and she smiled big. Lance felt his face crack into a large grin, and he ran forward to find her body in his arms. God, he'd missed her.

This was his best friend. His player 2, his ex-friend with benefits, his now girlfriend. This was _Pidge_. She was real, she was here. She wasn't in a screen in a place 1,456 miles away from where he was. She was _right here_ , with him, and he wished it was always like this. And it will be fore two weeks. Oh my God, he'll get every day with Pidge for two weeks. Going from seeing someone every day for years to almost never was a rough change. But this summer was the first one in a while he'd get to spend with her.

Pidge grabbed Lance's black tie that he worked _so_ hard on and yanked him to her height. She pressed her lips to his aggressively and a bit sadly. It reminded Lance of their parting kiss, about four months ago. The kiss became more gentle as Lance wrapped his arms around her waist and as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He missed this. More than anything.

A flash came from across the hall. Lance and Pidge broke away and looked over to see his mom taking pictures giddily. Pidge snorted, not caring much at all, while Lance groaned and threw his head back in all of his annoyance.

"I'll be living with you for the next two weeks, don't worry about it," Pidge laughed, leaning her head against his. She sighed contently. "I missed you."

Lance hummed. "I bet I missed you more."

"I don't care, that's not the point," Pidge laughed again.

He kissed her quickly on the forehead. "And how are you today, Pidgey?"

Pidge rolled her eyes. "Go and see your friends and family. C'mon, Shiro organized for all of them to surprise you! I'll be here afterwards," she said. Lance's heart sped up once he remembered his friends and family were here. "We're gonna get Italian food after this, too, so go say hi, and you can hold my hand the whole time at dinner if you really care _that_ much."

Lance nodded, pecked a kiss on her lips one more time, and ran over to see his friends. Once he had hugged Rachel and bro-hugged Shiro and Keith, he knew that he was ready for a new version of his life. He could make it, especially with all of these great people with him every step of the way.


	4. so put your best face on

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge has trouble getting through life without...remembering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BANG! (AJR)
> 
> mentions of blood and violence!!!
> 
> Post-canon, deals with PTSD and flashbacks, so a little angsty with a happy(ish?) ending
> 
> I'm aware that that isn't what the song is about but I listened to the song and this was the first idea I had.

When Pidge first woke up, the world seemed to be spinning.

Her head hurt like hell. Her eyes were heavy, which quickly reminded her that she hadn't been able to fall asleep until very early in the morning. She just kept thinking, and couldn't stop. She groaned, half-getting up and half-falling out of the bed.

Looking in her bathroom mirror, she could noticeably see the bags under her eyes, more so than usual. Pidge lamely glanced at her garbage can that was almost full of completely used makeup. She picked up her one stick of concealer left and layered it under her eyes, being careful not to make it crease, and blended it with foundation. Nobody had to know.

She doesn't wear Matt's frames much anymore. Really only when he's on long missions and she's missing him particularly much. But not on a regular day. Sometimes, Pidge can hardly look at the frames without getting at least a bit upset. They just reminded her of an era of her life that, while she knows will follow her around for the rest of her days, she doesn't want to remember much. Sure, she's always going to want to remember her friends, everyone she's met, their memories together, and the new things she's learned, but there are some things that are just...too much.

Pidge rung her fingers through her hair instead of combing it. It was enough for today. The clothes that she'd hung from her door for today had fallen off of the door in her haste. Throwing on the clothes quickly, she glanced in the mirror one more time. She recognized that she didn't look so great, and something in the back of her head cringed at how pathetic she'd become. All of the ruckus and messiness of her life have become a bit comfortable at this point. It's just who she was. And she kinda hated it.

Walking out of the bathroom hesitantly, she looked to find her keys to her car, until she realized she wasn't at her apartment across from the park. She was at the Garrison. Right. There were impromptu responsibilities to take care of as an ex-paladin of Voltron. Right.

She took a breath. _Okay. Let's go._ Putting on her best face, Pidge left the guest dorm, stepping out into hallway. It was relatively busy, one or two people passing by her room every now and then. For some reason, Pidge couldn't really move. She was just standing there as people passed. When she noticed this, Pidge focused specifically on taking steps. _Just get to the meeting room. That's all you have to do. It's not gonna take long._

And so she walks. As quickly as she can. She was honestly fine, she didn't know why she's being so weird about everything. But something felt off, for some reason. Not like a "something bad is gonna happen" off, just... _weird_.

Before she knew it, she had walked into the meeting room. Looking around, Pidge realized she hasn't seen her friends in a while. She only came to the Garrison last night and didn't have time to say hello. It's been a hot minute. Seeing everyone made Pidge crack, a smile growing wide.

Keith noticed her first, hesitantly and kindly stopping his conversation with one of the older officials to come say hi. Pidge beamed, giving him a little wave before he walked over and gave her a hug. 

He was never a big touchy-feely person, especially when Pidge first met him. But over time, Keith's walls have broken down slightly and he had opened up more to the paladins, especially Pidge. They had gotten close from their family troubles while in space. Either way, Keith had always been protective of her. She didn't got hugs from him often, but when he did give them, damn, could the guy hug.

"Hey, Keith." Pidge heard the smile in her voice. They pulled away, about to start talking, when a voice overpowered them, calling for Keith. Iverson, apparently, had something to say that was more important than two friends catching up.

Keith sighed. "I gotta go," he shrugged. As he walked off, he turned and snapped his fingers, pointing to her. "Call me later, we're all going to dinner. I'll give you the information."

Pidge laughed. "Deal," she agreed. Wow, she really missed them. And the promise of dinner with everyone made her only smile bigger.

Hunk was next to see her. Pidge approached him first, but he hugged first. He had always given the best hugs, even when they were cadets. Pidge really loved and missed Hunk, and she could tell he felt the same way about her just from his emotional blubbering.

"Oh my God, Pidge, I missed you _so_ unbelievably much! Where have you been? Why didn't I see you yesterday? Did Keith tell you about dinner? I don't care if you don't want to, I'm making you go. We have _got_ to catch up. I know we call all the time but it's not the same!"

Pidge just continued to laugh. During the hug, she managed a wave at Nadia Rizavi and Ryan Kinkade, who were across the room. When he finally set her down, they were able to squeeze in a conversation before they called a meeting to order. Pidge and Hunk went off to find where their name tags were placed.

She found hers pretty quickly, near the rest of the paladins. "GREEN PALADIN KATHERINE 'PIDGE GUNDERSON' HOLT" was largely sprawled on the card. _They could've at least used Katie instead of Katherine_ , she thought. She took a seat in the chair behind the card, which was placed to the right of the head of the table. Her seat was somewhere in the middle, and she was about to check the cards next to her to see who was sitting next to her when she heard a voice.

"Damn, they gave you a nickname and not me? Bullshit! I have _plenty_ of good nicknames to use."

Pidge turned and saw none other than her old friend Lance McClain sit next to her. "Oh my God, hi!" she exclaimed, a bit confused, giving him a hug from her seat.

She was fully aware that her deeply buried feelings for the lanky paladin were still there. Knowing someone like she knew him was not something she could just erase. However, she was trying to ignore is as best as she could. It was entirely unprofessional.

But ignoring any deep feelings for Lance, she was actually very excited to be around him again. He had given up his spot on the farm after he had realized he healed around four or five months ago. He was working at the Garrison again. Where she worked (pretty commonly from home, but if she got this upcoming promotion, she'd be here full-time, which was exactly what she wanted).

"Ugh, they gave you your color and everything!" Lance whined. Pidge looked at his card, saying "PALADIN LANCE MCCLAIN", and she couldn't help but snort. The Garrison couldn't even decide which lion he piloted. With Allura gone, there technically wasn't any blue paladin anymore, but was Keith truly the red paladin? It was hard to say.

There wasn't enough time to talk with him, which while a little disappointing, wasn't the end of the world. Lance had made a big deal out of staying in touch, so they talked pretty often. Though Pidge hadn't really seen Lance in a very long time, she had called him about a week ago, after he had a troubling panic attack. She missed him, way damn more than she'd ever admit to missing any of her friends, much less Lance.

She scratched at her mid-arm, where her first and only tattoo was located. Although it was covered by her green sleeve, she could practically see it. The tattoo was a blackout version of the paladin marking, the one on all of their armor. Every paladin had voluntarily gotten one on Pidge's behalf. Pidge, though, had gotten it to cover the scar that Sendak had carved back when-

Her eyes started to sting. _Now, young girl, you'll always belong to the Empire, no matter how hard you try._ Seething pain hit her on her mid-arm like a ton of bricks. Pidge immediately reached for her arm and held the area of skin as she tried not to make a noise. But Sendak was right. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't help but see the pointed edges of the Galran symbol etch back into her skin, the way it was a long time ago.

"Good morning." An official that Pidge didn't recognize stood at the front of the table. She took a deep breath, folded her hands, and looked in the direction of the man.

"I am Lieutenant Norris, and we'll be immediately getting down to business. First order to address-"

As Norris spoke, Pidge dozed off a bit. She was doing that thing again, the one she's been doing a lot recently. Thinking. Thinking so much that she doesn't stop. At first the thought starts as a little sapling, but then the thing grows, and it keeps growing, and a few branches start to grow as well. But then three branches grow from that branch, and five more grow from those, and all of a sudden there are humongous trees growing in her head, bigger than sequoias, and they don't stop. She doesn't know how to get to a place where the thoughts stop. But it just felt like every time she has to deal with something serious, other thoughts preoccupied her brain and Pidge, all of a sudden and against her will, decides this is more important than these life-threatening issues. She can't get it to stop. At all.

A computer is set in front of Pidge. "Holt, you know what to do."

She did know what to do. She had done it for years. But with the overwhelming and insane trees of thought growing in her head, she almost couldn't hear herself think. Why did this feel so disturbingly familiar? And why was the computer a different color all of a sudden? Since when was she wearing Matt's frames?

And why was the whole room looking at her? Why was there loud blaring and red lights flashing? Why could she hear screams over comms, why could she see that Lance wasn't the person next to her anymore, and why was Allura sitting next to her instead when she had died years ago? Everyone's depending on her. A familiar scream comes over a comm again and, out of the corner of her eye, Pidge sees a pilot's profile go dim on the large screen. Keith and Lance reached out to her from their spots a few seats down, but Pidge couldn't move or speak. More screams came over comms. She wants to move her hands to the computer and start typing, but she can't. Her body doesn't move. The lights were so bright it made her head hurt. Tears were no longer just stinging her eyes, they were threatening to trail down her cheeks. Why is it so hot in here? Why was the room spinning again? And why, for the love of God and all things holy, were those screams over the comms so damn _loud?_

"Holt!"

Pidge blinked and the scene was gone. The room, instead, was completely silent, no lights were blaring, and Allura wasn't next to her. She took the edge of her sleeve and rubbed at her face faster than she realized she could, and powered up the computer. "Sorry, sir. I'm sorry. I'm fine. Sorry." As Norris turned away skeptically, Pidge turned all her focus onto the computer. _Shit, does the password start with 1 or 2?_

When a hand rested on Pidge's shoulder, she flinches so hard that her body shakes the hand away. Looking to her left, she saw Lance and his hand hovering near her shoulder. "Are you okay?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I - yeah," Pidge decided. She gave him a smile to prove her point. "I just spaced out, ya know? I'm fine."

Lance snorted quietly. "Spaced out."

At first Pidge thought he was calling her out on her fib, but she recognized an accidental pun. She chuckled a bit, too. "Yeah, okay, you know what I mean."

She turned back to her computer and let her fingers do all the work on the keyboard, almost mindlessly. She really had done this hundreds of times before. All of these years as a paladin have taught her a lot, and while everyone else has learned a lot too, apparently nobody else could learn how to professionally use a computer. She was the tech genius, that was her shtick, and she got that, but sometimes she felt useless in these situations. When the computer was placed in front of her, she would gladly accept the challenge, but it almost felt like they were trying to entertain the baby of the group.

As she coded, Norris continued to speak, rattling on and on. Pidge wasn't sure if she was supposed to be listening or not. She probably was.

"- happen ever again. With the Galra no longer being a threat, the ships should be raided by the paladins for any remaining hazards."

Pidge's ears perked up at this. She looked up from her computer, her fingers pausing in place. Keith looked about ready to snap at Norris, the lieutenant probably not knowing about the hothead's heritage. Shiro's nose had scrunched up at the idea of going back to space. Lance and Hunk stared wide-eyed at the man. But Pidge? Her heart started to pound again, more than it had in a long time. _Going back to space?_ She felt her fingers start to wobble.

"With all due respect, Lieutenant, sending the paladins back to space may not be entirely safe or healthy-"

"The paladins of Voltron are the protectors of the universe, no?" Norris suggested. "Shouldn't the protectors of the universe, well, help protect our universe from such creatures?"

"Well, theoretically, yes-"

"Then it should be settled," Norris insisted. "These people have fought countless bloody battles, seen more than any of us ever have, and have more experience than the rest. Have we seen our teammates covered in their own blood? Not like they have."

As Iverson continued to argue with Norris, Pidge's hands still shook. Her teeth grated against each other involuntary. She was sweating like hell, God, she'd never sweat this much in her life.

"Pidge, what's wrong?" Lance whispered. "What's happening? What, you scared?"

She ignored his joke. "I need him to stop. Right now. More than anything."

Lance's eyes widened. "Oh. Oh shit, Pidge, are you okay?"

An intense pressure sat on her chest, keeping her from breathing. Pidge couldn't speak. Words seemed unreal or intangible or nonexistent even, but whatever words were, they wouldn't come to her. All she could do was shake her head as the tears started. _Dammit._

Pidge saw Lance out of the corner of her eye. His eyebrows scrunched together and he didn't wait for the argument between Iverson and Norris to end. "Hey, could you stop it? This is all a bit much."

Norris turned to glare at Lance. "How dare you interrupt your higher-ups in the middle of a conversation!" he sneered.

Lance stood up. "Like you said yourself, we've fought countless bloody battles. And what have you been doing, Lieutenant? Oh, _with all due respect?"_

Norris scrunched his eyebrows together angrily. "You don't know what the hell you're talking about. You may've 'saved the universe', but how long did that take you, sir? Five years, about? Oh sorry, _phoebs_. Do you know how many times you were taken into custody by the Galra? We have numbers. You and the green paladin alone have been kidnapped at least 20 times. Each. Some saviors you are! And to finish the battle, you had to come back to Earth and we had to help the oh-so amazing saviors of our universe."

Pidge gasped at the number. 20. It was way more than that. If you're gonna fight everyday for two years and go missing for three, there are going to be days where you fail. But 20. 20 was way too small, and Norris knew that. And why'd he even bring up them being kidnapped in the first place? By far, that was her worst memory of space. In fact, the memory was becoming so vivid that she could see that the room was now a deep purple, the color of the walls from Galran ships. Why did the color change?

Lance and Norris kept yelling at each other. Pidge could hear the words, and was fully aware they were yelling, but it didn't sound like anything. It was as if her brain had switched its software, now working in a different language. The purple of the room was growing wider. Was it, like, mold? What was that? Why was it getting so dark, and why could she hear Lance calling for her when he was clearly having a conversation with Lieutenant Norris?

Suddenly Pidge was holding a bayard. _Her_ bayard. She used the whip to hit at Sendak, who was now standing in front of her, bionic arm in her direction. Lance's pained voice screamed for her, so loud and angry that she felt her heart break. She recognized that her whole team was standing behind her, trying to help her out. She was brave, and she wasn't going to back down.

Until she realized what was happening.

This has happened before. She's been here. Lance's screams are familiar. She's heard them before, only once, and it had happened five years ago. She knew what was coming.

"Wait, Hunk, no!" Pidge screamed, running back to where the screams came from. Her brain hurt. Why was she here? This was happening again, why was this happening again? It was too real, this had to be-

 _This isn't real._ Pidge stopped in her tracks. _There's no way this is real..._ She let out a small whimper. _I'm having a flashback._

Pidge had helped Shiro through a lot of PTSD and had read enough on flashbacks. All she had to do was come back to her senses. Her eyes flickered around her. She could see chairs again, she could smell the rusting metal. Pidge closed her eyes again. _One more time_ , Pidge insisted. She opened her eyes and looked around. The purple walls seemed to melt away. The meeting room was back all of a sudden, and she was back to watching Norris and Lance argue. Pidge let out a sigh of relief.

_At least I left before Hunk-_

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Norris hit the table in all of his raging anger three times. Probably to get his point across to Lance, Pidge later assumed, but she couldn't see it.

Instead, she was back to the dark halls of the Galran ship, and her body was overtaken by two pangs of rushing and immense pain. She was on the ground in a matter of milliseconds, lying next to Hunk, who had also been a victim of Sendak. Her suit felt warm, and she recognized the feeling as her pooling blood back from when this happened the first time. Lance ran over to them, cradling both of his best friends in his arms as Keith and Allura went to attack Sendak.

"You're gonna be okay," Lance insisted, tears spilling. This was the first time Pidge had ever seen Lance cry. And it was happening again.

Lance looked to her, spotting her two wounds that were implanted into her abdomen. Pidge raised her head, ever so slightly, to see Hunk. His shoulder was covered in his own blood, a type of bullet making an indent. Pidge choked out a sob, and-

She was standing. When did that happen? Pidge blinked, looking around the room. She was back, but now everyone was staring at her. Tears were hot on her cheeks. _Shit_.

Lance had never given her a softer look. In fact, neither had any other of her teammates. They all looked at her with upmost sympathy, a kind she'd never seen from those boys before. She realized what happened pretty quick.

"I...I have to go," Pidge decided, quickly pacing out of the room.

When Pidge went to ran into a closet to cry her eyes out, she didn't expect to find one so close. It was a hallway away, a minute run, in the middle of an empty hall. She ran inside, slamming the door behind her and sinking to the floor. Pidge brought her knees to her chest and buried her face in them. _Some hero I am._

After a few minutes, an almost silent tapping was heard on the other side of the door. Pidge raised her head slowly, turning her head hesitantly. "Go away," she demanded, curling up into herself again.

"Pidge? It's just me."

Lance.

"Look, you don't have to let me in or anything, I just wanted to check on you. You, uh, you really freaked me out. Along with everyone else. Like, really bad. I just...I hope you're okay." Pidge took a shuddering breath, reaching for the cold door handle and opened it. Once she saw his face, she couldn't help but run into his arms and cry. Lance wrapped his arms around her, holding her carefully.

"Woah, woah, woah, hold on," Lance said, shuffling himself into the closet and closing the door behind him. He sat where she had sat a few seconds before, pulling her into his embrace. Lance balances head on top of hers.

After a little bit (could've been minutes, could've been hours), Pidge raised her head and positioned herself so she could look at him. Her sleeve was once again used to dry her tears and she looked to Lance. "I think I have PTSD. Or something."

Lance sighed, grabbing her hand comfortingly. "I'm not very surprised," he admitted. "We're all screwed up from space. And you did so much. With your dad and with Matt...there were just too many factors, ya know? You're just...too brave for your own good," Lance laughed darkly, rubbing her palm with his thumb.

"I thought it was just nightmares," Pidge whispered. "I thought that I developed some kind of sleeping disorder and that I'd just fall asleep randomly throughout the day."

Lance nodded. He wrapped an arm around her back, looking her dead in the eye. "I have a therapist, okay? She can help."

Pidge was only vaguely aware of his therapist. She knew Lance had one, and she knew he went pretty often, but she never acknowledged it for real. Now she had to. She nodded softly.

"And if she doesn't work in that field, Mrs. Quinton - that's her name - she can suggest someone for us. I'm sure of it," Lance said.

"Okay," Pidge nodded. When Lance moved his hand to her cheek, she still managed to blush somehow. _There are way more important things to think about than stupid teenage crushes right now, Pidge,_ she thought. Lance must've noticed the heat against his hand, since he gave a small smirk. She leaned into his hand, accepting the attention for once. She couldn't help but remember the late nights at the castle that usually looked like this. Sometimes they'd be really cuddly, kinda like this. She never minded. In fact, Pidge didn't mind this at all right now.

She could move on with Lance.


	5. anything at all can happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Pidge teach each other things, especially in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SUNRISE (IN THE HEIGHTS)
> 
> During the end of s7 but forget s8, canon compliant(?) except for them actually dating? Established relationship.  
> Spanish speaking!Lance and Italian speaking!Pidge :) self inDULGENT AF
> 
> could also be titled "lance swooning over pidge for however many words this is"
> 
> I used my little knowledge of the Spanish and Italian languages and random online dictionaries for this chapter. Don't yell at me, I know it's not reliable!! Just go with it lol??

"Really? More?"

Pidge nodded her head enthusiastically. Her hair got caught on her pillow as she did so, making it stick up in odd directions, and making it seem more choppy than it was. Lance laughed, using his hand to push it back.

"The grind really doesn't stop for you, does it?" Lance didn't need an answer to his question. He knew her answer would've been yes, of course, but they both knew the real answer.

Pidge's patient room was super cold. All night it had been, and it was even that way in the daytime, according to her. Maybe it was the loss of blood both had suffered, even though Lance was no longer bed bound and could leave his patient room with permission. Except for last night. No, to be completely honest, Lance had snuck out of his room late at night after his assigned doctor went to her call room. Thankfully, Pidge's doctor had also headed to sleep, so his plan would actually work.

If anyone asked, they'd say the half-truth. _We fell asleep playing Killbot Phantasm._

The real truth? _We fell asleep teaching each other Spanish and Italian._

And playing Killbot Phantasm.

"Okay, what does _el libro_ mean?" Lance asked with a raised eyebrow. Pidge looked up and to the left, tapping her chin childishly.

"Book?" she answered hesitantly, though, a hint of pride seeping in, knowing she was probably right. Which she was. So Lance gave her a smile as an answer.

She smirked. "My turn!" Pidge seemed to search her brain for any of the words they had taught each other the night before. "Ooh! What does _letto_ mean?"

"Pillow?" Lance asked. "Oh, no, it was bed, right?"

"That's right!" Pidge smiled. "Pillow is _cuscino_. Good job, mia amare."

 _Oh, so Pidge could call him her love, but when he said that to her, she got so flustered she couldn't manage words? Unfair!_ Oh well, Lance didn't mind too much. Her blushes wouldn't stop him, in fact, they'd just encourage him further. 

"What about... _hermosa?"_ Lance teased, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I actually don't know for sure," Pidge admitted. "I've heard it before."

"I'll give you a hint, _Paloma_ , you are that thing." Lance liked that the Spanish translation for "pigeon" was also "dove." There was something fun in calling Pidge "Pigeon", as he had for a while, but also secretly calling her a dove.

"I _am_ hermosa?" Pidge wondered out loud.

"Well, technically, you can't 'be' hermosa, it's like, the personified term for that, ya know? The technical term, I guess, is _es hermosa_."

Pidge licked her top row teeth in her closed mouth. It was a habit. Lance had noticed that she had picked it up fairly recently. She did it when she was thinking, and not when she was just regular old thinking, but when she was being curious and using her creative senses. Lance didn't know when the habit started, but he had a feeling it had to do with when Pidge had seriously busted her top gum during one of their most recent missions. There was probably a thick scarring there.

"I don't know," Pidge whined. "I hate not knowing."

Lance smirked. "Great! I'll never tell you what it means."

Pidge looked up at him with wide and panicked eyes, her hand reaching quickly to grip his shoulder. "No, you can't do that!" she complained. "You have to tell me! I'm just gonna overthink whatever you called me. Like, did you call me ugly, or annoying-"

"I would never, don't worry about it, amorcita," Lance winked. He pushed her hair back again, just 'cause he knew she secretly liked it. Pidge crossed her arms, sighing in faux annoyance. 

"You're really just calling me every endearing name you can think of, huh?" Pidge laughed.

"Not _every,_ preciosa! Mi reina, I would never, corazon!" He winked at her again. Pidge dropped her head a bit, which was her way of hiding her blush, as Lance had observed for a while now.

"Whatever," she muttered, gathering her confidence again and looking back up at him. She quirked her eyebrow and smirked a little. _Quiznak,_ Lance thought.

"What does _grazioso_ mean in English? And you happen to be grazioso, amare."

Lance tried to avoid blood rushing to his face when she called him "love", every time, but he almost never succeeded. Especially right now. How she made the face that he'd always make when flirting. She looked amazing like that. How could she do it better than him? If he was as good as Pidge, he could've had girls falling all over him in space! What's up with that?

"Does it mean _absolutely stunning?"_ Lance quipped. "'Cause we both know that about me."

"It does not," Pidge smiled. "So, I'm not gonna tell you what it means."

Lance stuck his lower lip out in a pout. "That's not fair!"

"Says you! You came up with that 'rule.'" Pidge winked at him, scrunching up her nose, before turning over and facing the other direction.

"Woah, woah, woah," Lance said, grabbing Pidge's shoulder and turning her onto her back. She readjusted herself to face him again. Pidge gave him a look, which he knew was asking what he wanted. "Teach me a little more. Please?"

Pidge sighed. "I'm...okay. Sure."

Lance smiled brightly. It must've been contagious, because recognized that she couldn't help but grin a bit, too. He liked that he had that effect on her. Firstly, because Pidge had that effect on him, so it was nice to see a little reciprocation. But secondly, because nobody else felt that way about him. It was a new thing that he had only got recently, and only in secret, but it was still amazing.

"How do you say... _jacket?"_ Lance asked her curiously. Pidge raised an eyebrow.

"Well, what do you mean by that?" Pidge asked. "Like, like do you mean a leather jacket? Or like a suit jacket?"

Lance shrugged. "Any kind."

Pidge glared at him, blowing a loose strand of hair out of her face. "Helpful."

He could only smirk as Pidge took a breath to prepare an explanation. "Well, if you mean a light jacket, the term for that would be _giacca,_ which is also a pretty broad term. Like, people refer to suit jackets and blazers as giaccas. But something heavier, like a winter jacket, is called a _giubbotto_. And a leather jacket would be referred to as a _giubbotto di pelle."_ She smiled to herself, clearly proud of her answer. Lance loved it when she rambled.

"That's super cool," Lance said genuinely. "What about _blanket?"_

"As in the thing over our legs right now?"

Lance nodded. "What else would I mean?"

"Like, the verb. Like 'snow blanketed over the ground'?" Pidge raised her eyebrows in a playful way. Lance shrugged, looking down shamefully, muttering something along the lines of "I guess" under his breath. He heard her laugh in his expense.

 _"Coperta,"_ she said, grabbing a handful of the bland beige sheets. She raised it up to his face as if to show him what a blanket was. The moment was peaceful and quiet...until Pidge shoved the blanket into Lance's face.

Pidge laughed as he struggled against the sheets, pushing and hitting at her playfully. Lance yanked the blanket away from him, laughing in the process. Pidge took his hand and pressed it back onto his face, as if to say he was doing this to himself. Pidge snorted when he sighed in defeat. She knew she won. That was, until, he reached his other hand out and dragged her hair. She yelped, tugging at his hand to move it. Her giggles resurfaced as she struggled to pry his hand off of her. In all her haste, Lance had removed the blankets off of his face, now pressing them to hers. "Damn, I forgot you were so strong, Pidge!" he laughed, continuing to hold her hair and press blankets to her face. Pidge gripped the blankets, pulling it away, and hitting Lance's hand until he gave up on holding her hair. Instead, he grabbed her arms in a more gentle fashion. Lance pulled her a little bit closer to him, both still laughing and breathing heavily.

"We're really loud," Pidge yell-whispered to him.

"I know!" he replied in the same voice.

The two sat for a second, just looking. Lance's heart sped up as he studied her face for the hundredth time. Her eyes were so damn pretty. Orange, yellow, gold, brown, green, and hazel all in two round orbs. _Orbs is a weird word,_ Lance decided. While her eyes were a bit hard to see in the dark, he knew what they looked like. It made Lance's heart ache. In such a great way.

"I love you," he let slip. Both pairs of eyes widened at what was just said. They called each other their loves, right? That was more than this, right? They had said the three words before, sure, but as teammates. As friends. As best friends. Never like this, never this vulnerable or in a situation so intimate. Lance meant to say it, and he meant what he had said in every way, but he almost regretted it. She had frozen, breath hitched.

Her frozen face eventually broke into a grin. A big grin. _Shit, she looks amazing._ "Maybe I love you too, I guess you'll never know."

Lance groaned. He threw his head back in annoyance as his girlfriend as she laughed. He looked back to her, the grin still on her face. An idea crawled into the back of his mind.

"How do you say 'kiss me' in Italian?" he asked quietly. Pidge blushed a deep red.

"Well, you could say _baciare mi_ or _mi baciare,_ it kinda depends on the context, but-"

"Baciare mi," Lance said quickly, giving her a bit of a Lance Smirk (trademark). She leaned up to him, pressing her lips to his for about five seconds. Lance almost died every time he kissed her. Someone as cool as her shouldn't be his. _Well, not "mine", since people don't belong to other people, and it's just creepy to think that. But like, my girlfriend. I guess. I don't know._

He could barely believe how long they've kept their relationship a secret from everyone other than the paladins. His family didn't know, and they'd probably (no, definitely) kill him for not immediately introducing Pidge to them. Pidge's family didn't know either, not even Matt. They were going to tell him, but it's been a long time since they've seen him, and he wasn't even on Earth right now. Lance wasn't too worried about telling Matt or even Colleen.

Sam Holt, however, was insanely protective of his daughter. And only the best was fit for Pidge.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Pidge asked, curled up in his arms. Lance rested his head on top of hers.

"What's your dad gonna say when we tell him?" Lance asked hesitantly. Pidge sighed heavily, grabbing one of the arms that was wrapped around her. She ran her thumb across his arm, trailing her hand up to his. He let it lower in between them so that she could hold it. Her thumb traced patterns on his knuckles as she avoided the question or tried to come up with an answer.

"I...don't know," she admitted. "Quiznak, I really hate when I don't know."

"You don't have to know, it's okay," Lance assured, kissing her knuckles. He really hoped that was suave.

Pidge continued to trace on his knuckles after that, still not looking up to him. Lance ducked his head down to look at her. "We should tell him. We should tell everyone."

She looked back up at him quickly, almost bumping his head in all the hassle. "Are you serious?" she asked. It had never been a topic of conversation, believe it or not. Lance guessed that he and Pidge just had this silent agreement that it'd happen when it did. Lance smiled at her, trying so, _so_ hard to be romantic.

Lance watched a smile grow on her face. Pidge looked down quickly, almost trying to hide the smile as she nodded. "Okay, yeah, we can do that. We'll tell them today."

He couldn't help but gather her in his arms again, holding her tight. The window on the wall he was facing showed as the sun peaked out along the horizon, rising at a steady yet snail-like pace. "The sunrise," he muttered. Lance felt Pidge turn in his arms to see it herself.

"You know, I've always wanted to kiss someone _al amanacer,"_ he said cheekily, smirking once more.

 _"Al amanacer?"_ Pidge asked curiously, still admiring the view.

"At sunrise. Or 'at dawn', if you wanna get technical."

Pidge turned around once more, looking up at him. "Promise me you'll stay?"

Lance looked at her wildly, as if she was insane for asking such a thing. His hands traveled upwards to cup her face. Her eyes were ready to spill tears, what seemed to be happy ones, considering her huge smile. "I'll stay. Promise me you'll stay?"

"I'll stay." Pidge promised, her eyes gleaming. "Now, did you want that kiss al amanacer, or not?"


	6. i grew up overnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes missions don't go so well. Especially when Pidge has to be strong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALIVE (SIA)
> 
> Whump + angstish/ a mission fic, duh. Ig it's from Lance's POV? And it's open-ended, like, in the way that the first one shot in this book was open-ended. If that makes sense.
> 
> !BLOOD AND GORE! AND BIG BOY F WORDS!
> 
> got an idea for a fic and I had to find a song just for ONE bit in this
> 
> peep me talking about Avatar throughout this fic since I'm rewatching it :))

Even though the room was cold, Lance was sure it could be colder.

Especially if he was loosing blood. Which he was. Only a little, not much at all. The long cut on the top of his forehead, close to his hairline, had started bleeding a little while ago, but the blood was just starting to get in his eyes. And it stung to try and wipe the blood away, but it needed to be done. All of this whining, but he knew it could be worse.

He could be like Keith, who had a knife sticking out of his shoulder. He could be like Shiro, with a black eye and a gash running up his arm. He could be like Hunk, who's earlobe got split in half and had a claw scratch on his neck. Or he could be like Pidge.

Who was nowhere to be found.

Who knows what injuries she was suffering from? Her comm had stopped working a long time ago. Nobody's seen her since. It was a bit worrying to say the least, especially because Pidge was completely alone and off-grid when her comm had cut out. Neither the paladins nor the Alteans back at the castle knew where she had gone or where she had been. Last person to see her was Keith, who had gotten the knife to the shoulder before he could follow her.

The four boys ran to hide around the corner, trying to find their way out of the Galran ship. Not very often did they all participate on a mission from the inside, but this time, there were too many jobs to handle. The lions were safe, as far as they were concerned, surrounded by an invisibility barrier that Hunk and Pidge had worked on for the longest time.

Finally, the four of five paladins found an abandoned room coming up on their left. As soon as they turned the corner, Keith gripped a rectangular pillar against the wall and started pulling.

"Help me!" he ordered in his general scratchy and angry tone, turning to look at the other paladins for only a tic. After he figured out what Keith was doing, Lance reached over and started to pull as well, Hunk joining in right after. Keith pulled the knife out of his shoulder with a grunt, hacking at the pillar while the Galran footsteps and voices got louder.

"Shiro, use your arm!" Keith surrendered, motioning aggressively for the two other boys to move away. Shiro punched the pillar with his robotic arm, immediately making it crumble a bit.

"One more time, c'mon, Shiro!"

Shiro wound up before punching the wall again. The pillar started to fall, and the ceiling sure to follow with it. The boys looked up before running directly into the abandoned room, only hearing the ceiling fall and barricade them inside after the door closed.

"We should barricade the door while we regroup, just in case," Hunk suggested, looking around the room. There were a few old tables, chairs, bigger file cabinets, and such scattered around the room. Clearly, this used to be a meeting or a strategy room, but considering the blood stains on the floor, it was probably used to hold prisoners.

As Keith and Hunk started to barricade more, Lance looked over at Shiro, who was fiddling with his helmet. He looked up at Lance, shrugging. "Comms are out. We can't contact the Castle."

"There's a way to fix it," Hunk spoke up from the other side of the room. "Pidge figured it out recently."

"Her comm's been out for hours," Keith addressed the elephant in the room. "Is it that hard to fix? Or is...?"

He didn't need to finish his sentence. It was an unspoken truth. _Or is she not okay?_

Before he could get upset, Lance cleared his throat. "Well. We should probably keep barricading, right? Maybe Hunk can figure out the comms while we're healing."

"Lance, I don't think-"

"Hunk, just try, please?" Lance snapped a bit, trying to hide his rush of anger. Hunk sighed, nodding a little, and turning to grab more things to barricade with. Lance decided he should probably be doing the same.

They took whatever was big enough to cover the door. Since the door was so big, the stack had to continue to get higher only to almost topple over on multiple occasions. On the other side of the room, Lance could vaguely hear Keith and Hunk whispering to each other.

"Is he okay?"

"You know how he and Pidge are. They're...really close."

"Really close? Yeah, right. You know how they actually are."

"Either way. He cares about her, ya know? He's probably really worried."

Lance was going to speak up and shut down the claims of "how they actually are". Whatever they were right now, that awkward in-between of friends and...something else, it wasn't a "known thing", right? They hide that well. Keith was just Keith. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Lance prepared a rebuttal and opened his mouth to respond. That was, until he heard a groan. A higher groan. Only slightly higher, but Lance noticed. If it was any of the boys, there would be a lower tone to it, but there wasn't. It sounded younger, higher, almost like...

Almost like a girl's.

"Who made that noise?" Keith asked, while Lance ran to the corner where the groan came from. He moved a hoard of supplies, only to recognize a body curled into a ball and hiding itself in the corner behind the storage. _Pidge_.

"Oh shit," Lance stuttered, backing up in shock. The other paladins approached behind him, also gasping or letting out noises of shock or worry.

"Is she...sleeping?" Hunk asked, observing her, close to tears.

"She's the one who made that noise, right? She's clearly breathing," Shiro said, running a hand through his hair.

"Someone wake her up! Why would she be sleeping right now?" Keith demanded in a panicky tone, quickly worrying the other paladins.

"I can't wake her up, what if she's hurt?" Hunk defended. "Lance, you do it!"

Lance gulped hesitantly. _Okay, just be gentle, and she'll be fine. She's still breathing. She's alive._ He squatted down and reached a hand out. The only evidence of any injury was a large cut, curving from above her eyebrow to her chin. It was an injury that would probably get infected if nobody did anything about it, and since no one has, there might be dust in the deep scratch. It looked painful, but not in any way fatal. He grabbed a hold of her knee, shaking her a bit. "Pidge? Hey, Pidge-"

Her body flinched so hard that she hit the wall behind her. Lance tried to steady her, another hand grabbing her shoulder. Her eyes flew open and a gasp escaped her lips.

"Pidge, hey, it's just us!" Lance assured her. The look he gave her was meant to be the one he had reserved for her, the one he gave her after a nightmare or a panic attack. But it probably looked a lot more scared and desperate than that. She had to be okay.

Pidge made eye contact with him, and her hyperventilating slowed. "Oh my God, hi," she heaved out, finally moving her eyes to take in her surroundings. "Hi. Holy quiznak. I was so worried about you guys."

Lance didn't have to turn to know that the paladins behind him also had a confused and shocked expression. "You were worried about _us?"_ Keith asked. 

"Of course I was!" Pidge insisted. "I couldn't get in contact with you guys. And I kept hearing explosions. How could I not be?"

"Pidge, however worried you were about us, we were ten times more worried about you," Shiro promised. "We haven't seen you for hours."

Pidge's eyes widened. "Hours? That's...that's not possible, I crawled over here, like, twenty minutes ago."

The paladins exchanged a glance before Lance turned back to Pidge. "Well...you did seem to be... _sleeping."_

She looked away. "I must've passed out," Pidge guessed. "I do remember having a really bad headache. Okay. I guess that explains a lot." She looked back up and moved her eyes across all of the paladins' faces. "I'm lucky you guys found me."

Lance felt his smile grow against his will. However, some questions still needed to be answered. His smile fell. "Are you okay? How'd you get here?"

Pidge sighed, resting her hand on her kneecap. "I'll tell you while I try to figure out this comm issue. But before that...can you guys help me up?"

\-----------

"And so, after I got the scratch," she vaguely gestured to her cheek scar, "I ran and hid in here. I buried myself in that corner behind a bunch of stuff. I _was_ gonna work on the comm until I fixed it...but then, uh, you get it."

Pidge barely looked up as she told the story. Her hands were fidgeting with wires and modules, and she seemed to have full concentration on the helmet sitting on her lap. However, she still managed to tell the story. It was, to put it frankly, super impressive, and Lance knew that he could barely keep track of what he was saying during a regular conversation. Not to mention the fact that she had figured out how to fix and work ten thousand year old magical technology better than anyone else. Even their ten thousand year old Altean friends didn't know how to work it like she did. She was just cool like that.

"It's good that you're not hurt," Shiro said. "Now that we're all together, we should try and figure out how to get to our lions without the Galra finding us."

Pidge snapped her fingers, still not looking up, and pointed at him. "I've got just the solution. Just give me a second, I'm almost done..."

A sizzle. A crackle. Static filled the completely silent room. As the comm buzzed, the paladins remained silent. Pidge put the helmet back on.

"Hello?"

"Pidge? Is that you?"

Her face lit up like a kid on Christmas. "Allura, hi! It's so good to hear your voice!"

Allura sighed contently on the other line. "Yours too. Are you okay? Where are the other paladins?"

"They're with me!" Pidge promised. "All of their comms blew out in an explosion. They're okay. We barricaded ourselves into a room, but it's only a matter of time before they find us."

"Didn't you say you knew where to go, Pidge?" Hunk asked.

Pidge nodded. "There are these shafts in the walls made for the robots. I discovered them while I was trying to find somewhere to hide. They're not big, but they're not claustrophobic. I can fit in there, easy. I can crawl through, get Green, blast through the wall, pick up you guys, and get you guys to the other lions."

"Very good plan, Pidge," Allura praised. Pidge looked down, pushing hair behind her ear bashfully.

"Won't the Galra see you? Especially if you blast a hole in the wall?" Keith asked.

"Invisible mode. In and out. They're probably planning to do the same thing to shoot at you guys, so they may think one of their ships did it. If we go quick, they may think you exploded with the blast," Pidge shrugged. "It's a risk, but do we have a better plan?"

She seemed to take it as a no when nobody answered.

"What about our comms?" Hunk asked.

"We don't really need them. If they're quick, they aren't necessary. There isn't enough time to waste," Shiro decided. "But someone should go with you. Just in case."

"I'll go," Lance said before he could think. The other paladins didn't seem too surprised, but Pidge only smiled. It was faint. But there was no way Lance would miss it.

"Okay, so it's settled," Keith said. "You guys should probably start going, right?"

"Yeah, probably," Pidge replied. After a quick goodbye to Allura, she turned off her comm and turned to Lance. "Ready?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

The two walked over to the left wall. Pidge pointed at a rectangular panel, barely peaking out from the surface. It was very thin, almost matching the level of the wall. Lance wouldn't have noticed it if it weren't for her. The panel wasn't very tall at all, in fact, it was shorter than Pidge, but it would fit the two of them no problem if they crawled or crouched. It was wide enough for both to fit side-by-side.

"They're like secret passageways," Lance muttered, almost to himself.

"Almost like," Pidge snorted, "like a _secret tunnel!"_ She sang the last two words to a tune, like a song that Lance was supposed to know. He raised an eyebrow at her. When Pidge noticed, her jaw just about dropped to the ground.

"You don't...you don't know what I'm talking about?" Pidge asked. Lance scrunched his eyebrows together, shaking his head. She gasped, turning to look at the other paladins.

"Do you guys know what I'm talking about?" she asked incredulously. The boys shook their head, Hunk cocking his to the side in curiosity.

 _"The Cave of Two Lovers?"_ Pidge clarified. No answer. "Avatar? The Last Airbender?" A bit more aggressive this time.

"Avatar is such an old show!" Keith replied.

"Oh my God, you guys are literally uncultured swines." Pidge dragged the skin under her eyes. "I'm disappointed." She turned around, climbing into the "secret tunnel."

Lance took one last glance at the other boys, shrugging as an answer, and climbed in. He shut the panel behind him. Lance crawled quickly over to Pidge. He was about to make a joke about Avatar, that is, until he heard her suck in a deep breath.

"Woah, are you okay?" Lance asked her.

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I just got a dizzy spell," Pidge waved it off. Lance raised an eyebrow, but she insisted. "Let's go."

They were pretty much silent. Which they should've been. If they were too loud, Galran sentries could find them and they'd have failed. The silence was almost deafening to Lance, though, especially next to Pidge, who he had so much to say to. They had yet to talk about this place they were in in their relationship. Were they dating? Were they just friends? Lance didn't know, and he doubted she did either.

Lance heard a crash from below them. He instinctively reached out for her, hand brushing her hip. Usually, that wouldn't make someone react, but Pidge did. She hissed again, pushing his hand away. "That hurt, Lance!" she scolded.

His eyebrows shot upwards. "I barely touched you, Pidge. Are you good?"

"What?" Pidge asked quickly. "No, I'm fine. Sorry I'm just...really tired."

Lance laughed. "Don't pass out on us again, Pidge." She didn't seem so amused.

They continued on, still uncomfortably silent. Lance still had too much to say. To ask. To think. And he just wanted to say something, anything, but _what?_ Where to start? _Oh, hey, Pidge, so are we like, dating? Or do you not like me like that?_

She stopped in her tracks, shaking a bit. Lance reached out to her again. "Pidge? Are you sure you're okay?"

"I feel like I'm gonna fall asleep," Pidge admitted. "But I can't. I can't do that. What if I don't wake up?"

"You're just tired," Lance said, his voice bordering on worry. "Why would you not wake up from a _nap?"_

Pidge's knees gave out and she collapsed onto her side from her crawling position. The same side Lance had touched. She cussed, Earth cussed as she tried to pull herself back up, but Lance grabbed her shoulder and pulled her next to him. He sat down now, laying Pidge's head on his knee, and put his hand where she had fallen. When Pidge whimpered, he clutched the panel of armor that protected it and took it off of her body.

The suit underneath, once black, was now soaked in red. Lance's eyes widened as he stared at the rip. The gash was bad, really bad, clearly left from someone's sword. Not only was the wound long and vertical, it had leftover remains of the attacker's weapon lodged into her body. He gaped at her, fishing for words in the back of his brain.

"Why didn't you tell us? How the hell did you cover this up? How did this _happen?"_ Lance rambled, thinking back to all the signs already shown.

"I was fighting a Galra, and I thought I had gotten away. I got hit in the side, so I ran and hid, only to take off my panel of armor. Then another one came and slashed at me and...and then I killed it, and then I ran and hid. I lost so much blood that I...that I passed out." Pidge didn't look at him. "I didn't even remember until about halfway through our conversation after you found me. But you guys were so worried. And I didn't want you guys to freak out more. I have to be strong. It was _so_ hard, but I can be strong for you guys."

"You shouldn't have come with, you should be resting!" Lance insisted. "You have to give yourself a break every now and then!"

"Well, maybe I don't want a break," she sighed, getting up, only wincing a bit. "I have to protect you guys too, you know. I'm not the baby everyone needs to babysit."

She got out of his lap and continued onward. Lance still gaped at her in complete awe. _How is she doing that? She's just completely unaffected! How?_ Lance was tired after training for a mission, but she gets sliced open and is still fighting. She really was that amazing.

"Lance! C'mon!"

Lance had to scamper to catch up to her. She had this stone-cold look on her face, her eyes drooping, but was too stubborn to admit it. Lance didn't want her to pass out. Like she had said earlier, what if she didn't wake up? She was losing so much blood, too much, and it scared him. A lot. But he wasn't just gonna tell her that.

Pidge stopped again, heaving a little this time. She sniffled. Her eyes glanced around the small shaft, looking for something that Lance couldn't quite guess. They landed on a shiny object tucked in the edge between the wall and floor. She grabbed it, taking a sturdy hold of it. Pidge took a long deep breath.

"What are you doing?" Lance asked, looking up at her face. It showed only determination.

"Staying awake," Pidge replied, without thought.

"How do you plan on doing that?" he pried, worry setting in.

She took the gauntlet off of her left hand. Pidge took another deep breath and held it out, palm up. "Baderunner style."

She promptly drove the shiny and sharp object right into the center of her palm. "Fuck!" she yelped. Lance gasped. Even in the dire times, he realized how long it had been since he had heard a cold, hard, fuck instead of a quiznak. He reached for her. She pulled away. Determination still danced in her eyes. He didn't like the looks of that. Pidge grabbed hold of the object inside her hand and twisted it in a circle, not only making the wound bigger, but deeper. She cussed again, still as quiet as she could be, but full of pain. Lance had enough. He grabbed her arm and pulled the sharp thing out of her hand, making her hiss again.

"You're already bleeding enough, Pidge!" he insisted, staring incredulously at her.

"The adrenaline rush wakes me up!" she argued, trying to pull her hand away. Lance recognized her face going back to the stone-cold expression.

"Oh my God, just react to something normally!" Lance snapped. Pidge looked up at him, her eyebrows furrowed.

"Please! Cry, scream, shout, do something! Seeing you not react is almost worse than tears. And I know you're trying to be strong, but you trying so hard is freaking me out. I know you want to let it out, so just let it out!" he insisted.

At first, nothing happened. Pidge glared at him with the heat of a thousand suns. Lance thought he was done for, that was until she opened her mouth. Pidge seemed to start talking, but no words came out. Instead, her lip trembled, and she choked on whatever she was trying to say. And that was when she actually started to cry.

Lance was quick to welcome her into his arms. She responded quickly, too, as she buried her head into his neck. And God, did her body shake with her sobs. It was terrible. But at least she was finally being honest.

"Why don't you just tell us when you're not okay?" Lance asked patiently. "It's okay to not be okay!"

"I know, it's just..." Pidge sat back up, looking at him. "So, like, I know you don't want a sob story, but you're gonna get one, so-"

"I don't mind," Lance said, knowing well that he was ignoring their mission.

"I'm most comfortable in the back of my brain, right? Like, if I just don't let anyone in, nobody gets hurt. And like, once I had to let people in, I thought 'well, they just don't have to know. Because they care about me. And they'd be worried.' So, I just, never said when I wasn't okay. And I get myself hurt a lot too, right? Because the Galra took everything from me. My brother, my dad, my years as a teenager...I had to grow up in a night. And I guess I volunteered to do this thing for the team so that...so that I could look the Galran soldiers in the face and they'd know that I'm still breathing and I'm right here and I'm alive. In spite of them, or something. I don't know." She wiped at her tears with her hands. "It's just how it is. I just...don't do emotions, sorry."

"I get it," he admitted. "It's hard to let people in. And especially after what happened to Matt and your dad. But we're...us, you know? It's just me - or, like, it's just us. It's not like I'm your simulator partner anymore, I'm your friend, and we're all your friends. We're your family now. Whether you like it or not." Lance added a wink after that last one. You know, for the Lancey-Lance effect.

Pidge sighed, shudders lacing through. "Yeah, yeah, you're right, and I know that," she laughed. "Thanks."

Lance smirked. "No problem, Pidge. But we should probably continue our little mission, right?"

Pidge's eyes widened, her mouth quirking into a round "oh" shape. She turned and looked down the tunnel, seeing the long ways they had left. She nodded, turning around to start crawling again. Lance noticed she had gotten on her elbows this time.

Lance got back on his hands and knees, ready to continue, but noticed Pidge wasn't moving. "Pidge?"

"I had a really big crush on Sokka when I used to watch Avatar, you know," she admitted, smirking at him.

Lance glanced around awkwardly, raising an eyebrow again. "Okay," he dragged out, "but what does that have to do with anything?"

Pidge's smirk only grew. "You'd know if you had seen Avatar."

"Aw, c'mon, Pidge!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came up with a whole plot for this fic just so I could have Pidge say "bladerunner style" and stab herself in the palm. No bullshit. 
> 
> PSST. THE JOKE IS THAT SOKKA AND LANCE ARE VERY SIMILAR. I DON'T KNOW HOW OBVIOUS THAT WAS.  
> maybe i'll write an au for that one day idk


	7. love's not an easy climb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance falls for girls quick, but it takes time for Pidge to fall for guys. Who knows more about love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT LOVE? (FROZEN: THE MUSICAL)
> 
> rip frozen on broadway :(
> 
> ALMOST canon compliant, but it does take place in that universe. Lance falls hard for an alien and Pidge is just confused as to why.
> 
> this is more like a songfic because i directly use lyrics as dialogue, just because it suits them so damn well
> 
> And ig this is Pidge's POV but like in third person because honestly I can't write first person

"I love her."

Pidge's ears perked up at this. She turned her head, glancing over at Lance with a raised eyebrow. _The fuck did he just say?_ Lance had said plenty of dumb shit, sure, but _love?_ A bit much, no?

"Who?" she asked, now completely turned around. "You'd better be talking about your mom!"

"Oh, so Shiro's here now?" Lance crossed his arms, also turning to look at her. He laughed at Pidge. "No, I meant Izea."

Ah, Izea. The Ganzuelean alien that had lead them to the destination where their mission would be starting. The two paladins had spent about a quintant with her as she assisted them to a foreign location somewhere in the middle of planet Gazuelea. Pidge and Lance had been instructed to explore the crash sight of a Galran ship after it failed to land and crushed itself on Gazuelea. Since the planet was a part of their coalition, the paladins got word fairly quickly.

"You don't even know her," Pidge scoffed, kneeling down to open up her bag of supplies. While she hadn't looked up, she could practically feel Lance's scoff.

"I do!" Lance insisted.

"Okay, so if you're so in love with her, what's her last name?" Pidge looked up to Lance from where she sat. Lance opened her mouth with a smirk, proud of where this was heading, until words didn't form. She watched as he blubbered and stammered to find words or remember if she had mentioned it.

"Aliens don't _have_ last names," Lance proclaimed confidently, crossing his arms. He seemed proud of himself. With his head slightly cocked upwards, his eyes closed in satisfaction of his answer, a small smile gracing his lips. It would've almost been cute in a pathetic way if he wasn't so wrong.

Almost.

"Alright, sure," Pidge continued. "But what's her dad's name? Does she have a family?"

"I - I'm sure she does," Lance said, "She told me. I just can't remember their names."

Pidge remembered. Izea didn't even have a dad. She lived with her mom, her sister Ferea, and her brother Naden. Lance seemed to have forgotten that Pidge had been there the entire time, too. Which, of course, she was used to. She was never anything compared to these supermodel alien girls, but Pidge barely minded. Barely.

"Well, do you know her favorite color?" she asked innocently, batting her eyelashes. Lance scoffed.

"Favorite color doesn't _matter,_ " Lance argued, crossing his arms. It was Pidge's turn to scoff as she rolled her eyes.

"It matters if you love her," she said, winking. Lance rolled his eyes, again, but this time more playfully. As if he were saying _you'll get it when you're older, Pidge._

But she does. She does understand what it's like to love someone. And whatever he feels, that isn't love. And of course, Pidge hated how Lance was babying her. So she grabbed the rope she needed out of the bag, closed the top, and slid it on her back again. "She does, by the way." Pidge smirked at him. Lance turned, an eyebrow raised. "She does have a family. Her mom, her sister Ferea, and her brother-"

"Naden," Lance finished. He threw a fist pump. "Ha! See, Pidge? I know her."

"Notice how hard that was?" Pidge laughed, making her trench over to the mountain they were about to climb. She held out her bayard, that glowed green with the energy she didn't have right now, and wrapped the purple rope around the handle.

"Let me tell you what!" Lance decided. Pidge didn't face him so she could hide her laugh. Still holding her bayard, she turned around, back against the mountain wall. She toyed with the weapon, almost to intimidate him, even though she knew he wasn't focused on it.

"Enlighten me," Pidge tempted, now crossing her arms.

Lance took his bag off of his back, also reaching for his rope. "Love isn't some difficult complicated thing. I can trust my instincts when I need to."

Pidge had to laugh. It was almost a scoff, so incredulous that it probably annoyed Lance. "Lance, I've never been afraid of you, because, to be honest, you're frankly not an intimidating person at all-"

"Hey!"

"-but that? Scares me. _Love_ isn't difficult? Yeah, okay." Pidge finished the knot around her bayard and started to regret using all of their jetpack fuel at the beginning of the trip.

"Well, you know what, Pidge? Some people actually understand their emotions and how they work. _Some people_ know how true love works." Lance jutted his head towards her, which Pidge recognized as him making fun of her. It wasn't _her_ fault she had little to no romantic experience. It wasn't _her_ fault that she was super weird in school, on a mission at the Garrison, and sucked into space before she could get a teenage life. Life kicked her off of the ground before she really got any time to be on it.

"Some people read a lot of Jane Austen," Pidge commented wryly, a small smirk on her face.

"Okay, I _like_ Jane Austen novels," Lance argued, walking to stand next to her. "They are classic works of masterpiece."

"They're boring," Pidge deadpanned, turning to face him. "Why would you want to read about love when you don't know anything about it?"

"So, you admit you don't know anything about love?" Lance smirked.

Pidge rolled her eyes. "No, I'm saying _you_ don't know anything about love."

Lance threw a hand to his heart, gasping dramatically. "You take that back!"

Pidge snorted. She shook her head playfully, turning back to face the mountain. Lance knocked his side into hers. She jumped, shrieking a bit.

"People know when they're in love, Pidge," he reminded her. "'Cause some of us humans have hearts."

She didn't react to his purposely offensive joke, because she knew Lance wanted her to react. Pidge let it drop as if she hadn't heard it. She heard him huff a bit, and she couldn't help but smile. The success was a sweet one.

Pidge wound up her arm, throwing her bayard as high up as she could. It dug into the wall of the icy mountain, getting caught on a thicker part of the ice. Pidge tugged, making sure it was lodged properly. It was. She hoped it would stay, so, so badly.

"You're just mad that some people are good at this stuff," Lance prodded.

"And you're just mad that some people aren't taken in by curly hair and pretty eyes!" Pidge snapped. She immediately regretted it, knowing that that was the exact reaction he wanted. The hair on the back of her neck rose as she practically _felt_ him smile.

"She does have curly hair and pretty eyes," he said, matter-of-factly. He was tying his rope around a small contraption Allura gave to him before they left, made out of alien space metals, and was the same shape as Pidge's bayard. "We agree on something!"

"Right," Pidge turned to him once more. "So, what color are those pretty eyes?"

Lance went quiet again. Pidge snorted once more, now tying the other end of the rope around her waist. She tugged on the cord for about the fourth time, mentally preparing herself for this tough task. Lance followed what Pidge did, throwing his contraption up towards the mountain. It barely passed where hers hit. Then again, he was about a foot taller than her. He also wrapped the rope around his waist and triple-knotted it.

She placed her foot on the wall and pulled. Pidge started walking, gripping her rope so hard that her knuckles were probably white. Even thought she couldn't tell because of the gauntlets. Lance followed suit, and though he could take bigger steps than her, he seemed to have chosen to go at the same pace as she did. Lance still seemed kind of frustrated with the whole situation, mumbling insults directed at Pidge to himself.

"All I'm trying to say is, like," if Pidge could run a hand through her hair, she would, "when you're climbing a mountain, right? You don't jetpack to the top."

"We could, though," Lance pointed out. "We just don't have enough fuel to after flying over that canyon."

"But the issue is that we would've been overwhelmed by the altitude. It's too high too fast. Even if we made it to the top, the pressure would be so submerging that we'd pass out, or possibly even die. Kinda symbolic, isn't it?" Pidge responded, a pleased smile on her face. She sped up her stride a little, if not to look cool, then to prove to Lance that he didn't need to baby her.

"Well, I take her on a date, we start liking each other, and we eventually develop a life together. That's the plan," Lance explained.

Pidge rolled her eyes. "Lance, that's not a plan at all."

The climb somehow got easier once Pidge was used to the pain in her hands. The gauntlets definitely helped, to the point where her hands were only a little sore from gripping so hard. She was so thankful right then that she was so small, since if she had to carry the weight of someone like Lance, she wouldn't have been able to make it. Her climbing position had changed at some point into what Pidge liked to call the "Middle School Gym Class Climb" that resembled the one kids would attempt on the rope in their physical education courses. Lance continued walking instead, but Pidge understood how he would consider that easier.

Every time they hit the point where the bayard was lodged, they'd grip onto a nearby chunk of ice and throw the bayard upwards again. It was a simple system, really, as long as they kept lodging the contraptions near or on big blocks of matter.

No conversation. There hadn't been any since the last comment that Pidge made, but she doesn't mind. She had to focus on the goal, keep her eyes on the prize. Talking to Lance would distract her anyway. As she climbed onto the small surface they had wordlessly agreed on taking a break at, Pidge wondered if that would keep up.

It did not.

"So, how would you know anything about love anyway?" Lance inquired, as soon as he sat down. It seemed to Pidge he'd been waiting this whole time to talk again.

"How would _you?"_ Pidge weakly argued back. While it was a dumb schoolyard response, she knew it'd make Lance a bit ticked. This whole game of trying to make each other mad was exhausting, confusing, and so much fun at the same time.

Lance scoffed. "Have you even _kissed_ a-" he stopped himself halfway through his sentence. Pidge's heart started to pound inside her head. Her eyes widened, only in the slightest as they stared at each other. Remembering.

It was one time. A heat of the moment, lonely, and passionate time, but only once.

The staring lasted way too long. Pidge couldn't articulate words very well in that flash, so she settled for clearing her throat and looking away. After turning, she leaned the back of her head against the mountain. She tried so, so hard to ignore him. Pidge did _not_ want to remember.

"Anyone with half your brain would've brought something a bit warmer." Lance changed the topic as quick as he could, and Pidge silently thanked whatever God was in the sky. "So why did you not think to bring something to keep you warm?"

"I don't know," Pidge shrugged. "It was a last minute mission. And Keith was supposed to go with you, not me. So I had to pack fast, I guess. I forgot the warm bodysuit in all the haste." Understatement of the century. Keith was called to a Blade of Marmora mission literal minutes before departure. Allura had pounded on her door while Pidge was sleeping and told her to pack.

"I'm glad I didn't go with Keith," Lance laughed, almost to himself. "He wouldn't listen to my love life troubles."

"Well, neither am I," Pidge responded. She started to smile again. "I'm giving you a hard time."

"Yeah, but I know you do it out of love for your best friend," Lance leaned in teasingly, a goofy smirk on his face. "You _love_ me, don't you, Pigeon?"

Pidge's face burned despite the coldness of the atmosphere. She scooted away ever so slightly, trying to clear her throat. "You wish," she managed, still working with a proud facade. Lance stuck his tongue out at her, only for Pidge to childishly respond the same way.

"Ya know, anyone with half your life would have one friend who wasn't me or Hunk," Pidge retaliated. Lance faked a dramatic gasp.

"I do!" he insisted. "I...Shiro's my friend!"

She let out a loud laugh this time, purely amused. "That was the first person you could think of?" she snickered. Pidge noticed as Lance cracked a smile too, looking down and laughing under his breath.

After the two caught their breaths, they took a minute of silence. Just for themselves. They looked at each other with exhaustion wiping over their faces. Pidge smiled. "You ready to keep going?"

Lance sighed. "If you're not gonna keep making fun of me for being in love with Izea."

"You're not in love with Izea," she laughed again. While Lance probably disagreed, he still smiled. Pidge pulled him up onto his feet and she dusted off her legs. Grabbing her bayard, she wondered how much longer this mission would be. She swung the rope around in a circle and threw it upwards and forward, embedding itself in the ice, as it had before.

Pidge began to climb again and Lance followed behind soon after. She recognized how sore her hands were now, but it wasn't like she hadn't gone through worse. Her legs were wrapped around the rope, trapping the rope against her thighs. Though it wouldn't do anything if she removed them, Pidge felt safer that way. Besides, she had the rope tied around her waist. That protected her from falling to her death.

They still bickered on the way up. Arguing over how love was supposed to work. Clearly, Lance had seen a few too many Disney movies. The ones from back in the day when they wouldn't even incorporate gay characters into their stories, the really old ones.

"If you jump breakneck, you're gonna break your neck," Pidge argued. "That's why they call it 'breakneck.'" She would cross her arms if she could.

"And if you don't take chances right now, you're gonna end up sad and dead," Lance retorted. Glancing upwards, he continued. "Like if-" he stopped. His eyes widened. "Pidge!"

Pidge looked up only to see her bayard slowly breaking away from the ice. Her eyes widened too, barely having time to process what was happening. The bayard finally detached itself, and as it fell, Pidge did too. She screamed as she started to plummet to the ground. _I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm-_

And then she stopped falling. Pidge found the nerve to open her eyes, only to see Lance had caught hold of her bayard. "Hang on!" he yelled. Lance let go of his rope, giving Pidge a mini heart attack, until she realized his rope was still wrapped around his waist. He took hold of the bayard, now with both hands, and shoved it into the ice. His hand continued to linger there. "C'mon, you can climb up!"

Pidge found herself brave enough to start climbing again, even though it was now utterly terrifying. When she caught up to Lance, he smiled at her.

"See? Sad and dead," Lance remarked. Pidge flipped him off, almost unsuccessfully as she tried to hold on to the rope. Lance smirked in his success. "You should've listened to me! 'Cause I know danger when I see it. Like how I know love when I see it." Pidge would've rolled her eyes if not for another cracking noise.

Now Lance's instrument was starting to break away from the ice. "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Lance started to panic. But all Pidge could think to do was grab onto the nearest block of freezing cold ice. She threw her bayard up higher and made sure it was lodged, for sure this time, and started a quick-paced climb.

The cracking of the ice was very intimidating. It was like those old board games from the early twenty-first century, the ones where the timer would buzz as the player tried to put the pieces into the puzzle, knowing that the contraption would pop in your face and blow the pieces everywhere. In all of Pidge's crazy life experiences, she had honestly never been under so much pressure in her entire life. If she couldn't get there in time, she'd witness the untimely death of one of her best friends.

The contraption was just in her reach when she stretched her arm out. The thing was ready to fall out of the wall. But Pidge didn't let it. She pushed it back in with the palm of her hand as aggressively as she could, just like Lance had done for her. She hit it as many times as it could, continuing to get it deeper into the blueish white surface. "You can come back up here now!" she shouted down at him.

Something told Pidge to wait for Lance to get to her level. It was probably the best idea anyway, considering that something like these past events could happen again. It didn't take him very long, considering he was a bit over six feet tall, but it still felt like years to Pidge.

"Thanks!" he said to her as soon as he got close enough to.

"Seems you still have some things to think through in life," she smirked and Lance sighed, knowing where this was about to go, "and in love."

"Touché," Lance admitted, rolling his eyes at her, but still smiling.

Pidge looked down at the ground for the first time. "Look how high we've already come," she pointed out, staring at the ground still. She wasn't too worried about falling anymore. "I would've been a pancake on the ground there if you didn't save me. You're, um, really strong." Of course she had to blush right now, when Lance could see her. Perfect timing. "Right, so I guess I'm saying thank you."

Lance smiled anyway. "And you saved my life just now. We're even." He looked up at the mountain's peak. "Your climb was really brave, you know. You've got guts."

Her cheeks burned hotter. "I guess. But you catching me was really cool. Takes more skill. So, I guess, you've got some brains in that hollow head."

"Sure, Pidge," he laughed, starting his climb again.

With miles to go, Pidge realized how grateful she was to be here with Lance. She could trust him more than anyone else she knew right now, except for maybe Hunk, and she's pretty sure that he trusted her too. It was always nice to have that agreed collective trust with your mission partner. And though she was getting sappy, she still couldn't help but wonder what the _hell_ Lance thought he knew about love.

At least she knows this mission will be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I chose Jane Austen for that one bit Pidge says because, commonly, in Jane Austen novels, the person the main character ends up is like the never-would've-guessed best friend instead of the person they're originally in love with. Kinda like an Easter Egg/a nod to future events :)


	8. all but forgotten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge is in the hospital. Lance doesn't miss her at all. He swears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DON'T MISS YOU AT ALL (FINNEAS)
> 
> Canon divergence (just because of plance being canon) and post-canon. About five years after s8.
> 
> this is a bit of a shorter chapter.
> 
>   
> the song is about a breakup but i'm not in the right head space to break up my children. so now it's about Pidge in the hospital. ha. so obviously, angst. whump. that jazz.

He doesn't miss her. He doesn't.

What's there to miss? She hadn't even been around recently anyway. The picture in his wallet, the photo on his office desk, the frame on his bedside table; they all looked less like her everyday when she didn't roam around his house like she used to. Now, she was unhappy. She was tired. And he always knew her to be like that, but she rarely smiles anymore.

'Course, when you're unhappy, tired, and fresh out of an argument with your boyfriend, the chances of getting in a car crash increase a lot.

He blames himself. Why wouldn't he? _He_ started the argument. Nobody stopped when they both started crying. He didn't stop her when she ran out of the house claiming she'd "be back in twenty minutes" and that she'd "see him later." Nobody considered that when she'd see him later, she'd be passed out in a hospital room.

It was almost unbearable to look at. Seeing her face, covered in dry blood and bruises, looked too much like the results of the many missions they went on. It's been five years since he had to see her like that, and seeing it again was not welcome.

But she didn't miss him. So why would he miss her?

Driving home from the hospital for the third time that week was just like every other time. He didn't know what terms they were on, so he hesitantly walked into her room every time. She was still asleep, but the doctors told him she should wake up soon. And she wasn't asleep because of the crash, but instead because of the medicine they gave her. It was too complicated for him anyway. It wouldn't be for her.

But he doesn't miss her. At all.

He can't recall her jasmine, lemon, and rose shampoo scent. He's forgotten about her amber eyes that were so vivid and passionate and lively that they'd make a Harry Styles fanfic writer cry. He didn't remember the smile she gave during their Killbot battles, he doesn't remember how she'd cuddle up into herself when she was cold, and he _definitely_ doesn't remember how he feels when she kisses him.

Whatever. He's fine. She may not be, but he is.

She's probably better off without him anyway.

But that doesn't stop him from visiting her. Every day. As often as he can. She can't see him, but she can probably hear him. It probably annoys her that he told the nurses that he was her husband so that he could get all the information. It probably annoys her how much he visits. Or how much he talks to her. But she's not getting out of it.

He didn't think they were _over_. The fight, however, was pretty bad. _What were they?_ He felt the way he had about two years ago. The awkward in between, once again, of friendship and something more. He knew they were something more. He knew, still, that she was his girlfriend, and he was her boyfriend. But did _she_ want that to change?

What does he care anyway? He doesn't miss her at all.

And tonight he's sure. He doesn't. He swears he won't have another panic attack at two am, so bad that he can't breathe. He won't sit and stare at her picture for thirty minutes like he did last night. He won't panic, because the doctors say that she should be fine. And that small chance that she won't, because "should" doesn't mean "will", doesn't haunt his every thought, especially not after he saw her in the hospital, not looking healthy at all.

Not to brag, but he's been sleeping fine. He doesn't lie awake at night, feeling uncomfortably cold because the bed just feels so damn _big_. 

He only thinks about her once or twice. 

And it feels great, for her information. He's completely content. He doesn't freeze when he spots the wine in his kitchen, and even if he does, it's clearly not because she would only accept wine when offered alcohol. And very obviously not because the man responsible for her slow heartbeat in that white room had consumed so much of it three nights ago that he thought it'd be okay to drive on the highway and-

He's fine.

His white knuckles on his steering wheel has nothing to do with anything. He's listening to her playlist by _choice,_ because he can't hear himself think with his own. And the songs don't make him think of her, especially not her smile when she listens to them. The beam so big and giddy every time it cracked on her lips. So dorky and cute that-

A blaring honking noise comes from behind him.

_Shit, the green light!_

A new song creeps in softly over the radio. His shoulders start to slump. _She put our song on her playlist?_ His jaw tightens, and he takes a breath, before realizing he's swerving on the street. _Oh no._

He readjusts the car back into his lane, ignoring the yelling and middle fingers. He isn't too far from home.

And then he starts thinking of his house, and the flowers in front of it, the ones she planted. And he's thinking of her.

For the first time in three days, he lets a tear fall. He sniffs, wiping it away as fast as he can with his sleeve, but more are coming, and he knows it. He also lets himself admit the scary truth.

_I'm scared._

But he's not about to make the mistake of being throwing himself a pity party. So he says he doesn't worry, that he doesn't miss her. Someday, maybe he'll believe it.


	9. holding on too tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance went away. When will he come back?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DANCING WITH YOUR GHOST (SASHA SLOAN)
> 
> more of a shortish drabble! ww1 era au with mAgiC (Pidge-centric) there is angst?? but i can't write heavy angst so it's not THAT bad? also everyone calls her Katie because it's 1918. anyway pretty open-ended so you can decide what she means by "ghost". I have a specific idea in mind but i don't want to spoil the fun :)
> 
> it's really not that bad. it's not. i've been wanting to write more aus because they're the most fun to write, i just get so uninspired.
> 
> anyway, i renamed all the chapters to lyrics from the song because when i use songs with names in the titles, it wouldn't make sense.

Tonight was surprisingly cold.

All Katie had to keep her warm was the sleeves of her dress and her fiance's jacket, the one he used to wear. At least, that's what he'd wear one thousand four hundred sixty-six days ago. A little over four years ago. When he was twenty-one, and she was nineteen.

Now Katie is twenty-five, and life is different than she thought. Firstly, she'd assumed that she'd be married by now. She's been engaged for over four years. One thousand four hundred sixty-six days. Katie was sure she'd have children by now, since everyone does at her age. But she doesn't. She's been waiting for him to get back.

People are harder to trust, especially men, as they seem to disappear as soon as she meets one. Never does she get much of a goodbye, but all she can do is hope that she'll see them again, even once more.

Most tell her it'd be smartest to move on. Others laugh when she says so, or maybe frown in sympathy. _Just another woman waiting hopelessly for a man who will never come back,_ they always think, and they don't have to say it, because Katie knows that they are. Objectively, she probably should move on. However, even the concept is painful. Every now and then, she'll wonder, but the pretty band on her finger will always remind her that she should wait. Good things come to those who wait, of course. There's been no letter saying he's gone, so he isn't. It does often feel like being in love with a ghost.

But besides that, Katie knows Lance is fine anyway.

_"I may not come back," he said, "but if I do, I'd like to come back to you."_

_Katie had been crying when she nodded, and he slipped the band onto her finger quickly. The speech he had given before had left her hand covering her mouth. Lance gently grabbed her wrist, moving her hand away, and kissed her. "I'll always be here," he promised, pointing at her ring. "That will be your reminder."_

_A horn blew in the distance. Lance sighed, looking down at her hand. He fidgeted with her fingers, specifically the one now with a band on it. "Will you wait for me?"_

_"Of course."_

_Katie pulled the tiny black cube from her handmade pocket and pinned it onto Lance's uniform. "Every chance you get," she whispered to him, pointing to the cube._

_Lance nodded."Of course."_

_He kissed her one last time, so painfully not long enough that Katie's heart hurt. "I love you," he promised._

_"I love you too," she promised him._

If it were a normal thing to do, Katie would hold onto her record player as she waited. She wished she could bring it with her. But she can't. Because someone may hear her that way. If anyone ever saw...well, things could get messy.

She fidgets with her black cube, similar to the one she had gifted Lance. Katie always clipped it, slightly to the left on the collar of her dress, so that it'd sit right above her heart. Old Katie would gag at how cheesy and romantic she was acting nowadays. But it's been one thousand four hundred and sixty-six days, and Old Katie had plenty of time to die in that dreadfully long span of time.

It used to be a joke that Katie was up all night, every night, doing something "magical", as Lance would say. Now it's the truth. She stays up a very long time, less than the first year, but still long. She wished it were voluntary, but insomnia was a very common stage of grief, and-

Lance isn't dead. She isn't grieving, because he'll be back.

In fact, in the most recent letter he wrote her, Lance said he believed the war to be over very soon.

_Dear Katie,_

_How are you? I hope you're healthy. Life is the same as it's been everyday for the past four years, in fact, I didn't even know it's been four years until you claimed so! It feels so, so much longer, though._

But we're winning, I'm sure of it. We have a plan that I can't reveal to you, as there is always the chance of this letter being intercepted. If that's true, I'd like to kindly tell the recipient to make love to himself and give this letter to my wife back home.

Katie may use the word fiance, but Lance refuses to say fiancee back, simply saying that it is a dumb word. _Wife is much easier to say,_ he claims, and hasn't used another word for their relationship since.

_I miss you. Everyday, every night, all the time. But I will come back. This war will be over soon, no matter who wins. America is strong, and I have faith in this ragtag crew, but sometimes you just think otherwise. Either way, I will come back to you. I've placed bets on a year's time._

I'm sorry to give you such a short letter today. But the General must believe we're close to the end too, since he seems to be working us more than ever! I'm so sore!

_I'm glad you're home. I'm glad you're safe. I may not be able to write much in these next few weeks, but believe me when I say that I'll read the past ones you've written me in the meantime. I'll be coming home with a stack of your letters! I hope you're still waiting for me, as I will always wait for you._

_Of course, always yours,_

_Lance ;)_

_P.S: I hope we meet again in the coming weeks._

Katie always wanted to insist that the drawn faces with the wink were stupid, but every time she saw one, she'd either break into an uncontrollable grin or burst out crying. It was so characteristically Lance that it made her miss him even more. _That stupid ghost of a fiance._

It's late now, later than before, and it's now almost becoming unsafe to be out this late. But Katie doesn't mind. She continues to stand at the end of the porch, hugging her arms, and hiding her face behind her hair. She's about to give up, head back inside, and decide that it's not happening tonight, until God gives her a sign.

Her cube glows, the shiny blue that she'd always associated with her fiance, and Katie can't help but smile. She pulled her sleeves down once more, taking a deep breath, and stepping off of the porch.

She feels as though she's flying through the air, following the trail that the cube had provided for her against the muddy ground. The trail projected a shape against the ground, one that seemed to look like an arrow with a bump interrupting the shape's perfectly straight line. Though Katie had never seen the shape since she started to use the cube, she finds herself tracing it onto her leg, doodling it on a napkin, or sewing it into a dress daily. It reminds her of home.

Katie twists and turns through the woods, running into the open field where she has all but legally claimed for the two of them.

There, a blue yet transparent figure stood, smiling at her.

"Hi, Katie."

He reaches out his hand for her. Katie took it.

Lance and Katie dance that night, to the song he hums into her hair hypnotically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd be curious to see how you guys interpreted that ending, so feel free to discuss in the comments :)


	10. and i'm very scary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The paladins visit a new planet to make an ally, but goes wrong quickly. The natives of the planet seek revenge, and that revenge happens to be placed upon Pidge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BOYS WILL BE BUGS (CAVETOWN)
> 
> this is just me having fun with the concept of insecure pidge. except she's like SUPER insecure. and that's what this is. so yeah, SHIT TON OF ANGST. IT'S LITERALLY JUST ANGST. THE ENDING ISN'T EVEN HAPPY. idk when this takes place bc it has all the original paladins but also allura is there so idfk
> 
> !!!THERE'S A BIT WHERE PIDGE IS OUTED. PLEASE DON'T READ IF THAT TRIGGERS YOU, I DON'T WANT YOU TO BE HURT!!!
> 
>   
> this was unashamedly based off of my headcanon that all the paladins all have the intense need to protect Pidge

"Which one of you will it be?"

Lance looked around at his fellow paladins. All looked around at each other, asking with their eyes if they should sacrifice themselves. Lance knew that he'd do it if he only knew what exactly was going to happen. For example, would the paladins actually go free?

"I'll do it," Shiro decided, starting to stand up. General Urqo, the Allu who had been explaining the paladins' imprisonment to them, sighed unsatisfactorily.

"No, I'll do it."

Pidge had now stood up as the rest of the paladins were kneeling on the ground. She reached her wrist out to Urqo, offering herself as a sacrifice. The audience whooped and cheered, which brought joy to Urqo's face. He grabbed her wrist, seemingly very tightly, since Pidge winced, just the tiniest bit.

Nobody was surprised at the reaction. At least, Lance wasn't. Pidge was the small one, the angry one, the girl, the seemingly weak. The Allu probably thought it was hilarious to humiliate a young girl on stage for the entire nation to see.

When Voltron came to make peace with planet Allunn, nobody would have suspected the 10,000 year old rivalry between Altea and Allunn to still be a prominent issue. Neither Allura nor Coran mentioned much about it, only saying that it was important to make amends. In their defense, it had been 10,000 years, and they couldn't have known how harshly their old rivals held grudges. It would've, however, been a nice heads up!

Not to mention the apparent betrayal the paladins had accidentally committed a while back. Supposedly, multiple Allu had been at one of the many diplomatic balls they've attended, and those Allu were the last aliens to be removed from the building when Sendak attacked. (How the paladins were supposed to know what the Allu meant to their cause, and why the Allu couldn't have just left themselves, Lance didn't know for _shit_ ).

But whatever their situation was, there were more important things to consider. Urqo had arrested the paladins and the princess ASAP, leaving Coran in the castle (most likely because he didn't even know he was there). The Allu general had brought the group to a large arena and kicked them up onstage. What seemed to be the entire nation of Allu natives crowded the platformed stage, with their creepy eyes sticking from the top of their bodies and over each other. And now Pidge was going to be ruthlessly humiliated in front of everyone.

 _We demand one paladin subject themselves to a..._ performance _that our ruler has put together. Then all of you roam free, but never come back here to planet Allunn. The performer will leave with embarrassment, and that is all._

"I can do it Pidge, it's okay," Shiro argued. Pidge shook her head.

"They're going to have to try really hard to embarrass me," she insisted, her jaw clenching.

Urqo smirked at this. Lance seemed to be the only one who noticed it, but his heart started pounding faster at the very sight. That couldn't be good.

The general dragged Pidge to the middle of the stage, where he clipped a microphone to her armor. "You're the Green Paladin, yes?" Urqo asked.

No response.

General Urqo laughed. "That's fine. No need to speak, paladin, you'll be doing that with ease in a moment." Pidge showed no signs of taking note on this, but Lance did. That was most definitely a very worrying threat.

Another Allu walked up behind Urqo and handed him a small glass bottle with a cork sealing it shut. An almost-transparent blue liquid swished on the inside, staining the bottom of the corked cap. Urqo took this bottle from the Allu's hands gratefully, and held it up above his head, err, eye bobbles, as if it were something to worship.

"This, my people, is Oh'ae!" the general said proudly. This newfound information only made the audience more excited. As this happened, Lance became more nervous. He turned to see Allura's eyes widening.

"Oh no."

"What is it, princess?" Keith asked as calmly as he could muster. Allura, however, didn't answer his question.

Urqo continued to speak. "One bottle of this, and this little paladin will reveal some of her darkest secrets. To us!"

The audience went wild. The paladins sat in shock. Lance struggled to get up, scampering and trying his damnedest to run over there and knock Urqo off the stage. Keith seemed to have the same idea. If possible, steam would be blowing out of his ears.

The paladins may disagree often, but they can all agree on one thing: nobody touches Pidge.

Speaking of, the young Green Paladin stood on stage, paralyzed. Her eyes were shiny with held back tears, making Lance's heart ache. Her fingers were shaking, ever so slightly, but she continued to clench her jaw and swallow this large pill.

_God, she's so strong._

Other Allu soldiers noticed Keith and Lance and kicked them back to the ground. Lance landed on his knees with a loud _thud_ and groaned. He looked up and saw Urqo handing the bottle to Pidge.

"Pidge, don't drink it!" Allura pleaded. "Please!"

"How terrible is it?" Hunk asked hesitantly, looking over to the princess.

Allura sighed. "I've only seen it go terribly. There was a woman of power back on Altea and she accidentally drank some, and then revealed she was having not one, not two, but three affairs. I've seen it break up couples, friends, families. Nobody ever remembers the useless secrets, they only remember the traumatizing ones. I mean, Oh'ae is used for criminal investigation, not some silly humiliating game!"

Lance saw Pidge watching the exchange, now holding the bottle of Oh'ae. Her eyebrows furrowed. Instead of listening to Allura, she took off the cork harshly, looking at the bottle with determination. Lance felt his heart sink. _She's gonna regret this._

"Pidge, let someone else take it!" he said desperately. "You have the most secrets of all of us, right? Don't you have _one thing_ to hide?"

"It's not a big deal, Lance," she responded.

"It is!"

Pidge shook her head and took one last shaky breath. "Besides," she laughed under her breath, "I have way more than one thing to hide."

And with that, Pidge knocked the Oh'ae back like it was water. She tipped the bottle all the way back, tipping her head with it, and drank every drop. Lance heard Allura sigh and Keith cringe behind him. Lance closed his eyes, preparing himself to hear the worst. He wanted to cover his ears, and get everyone here to cover their ears too, but the paladins' arms are chained, and there's no way the Allu are gonna miss this.

Once the Oh'ae is gone, she hands the bottle to Urqo. Lance watched as the color drained from Pidge's eyes, and her arms went limp. She stared off into the audience, not speaking. Urqo smirked yet again, throwing the bottle behind him. It shattered on the ground and made Pidge jump, even though she doesn't stop staring.

"Why don't you...say some things on your mind?" Urqo said with such confidence.

"I'm a dumb teen girl," Pidge said, her voice normal, despite the creepy exterior.

"What?" Lance whispered to no one in particular. "That's not true." Hunk, who was next to Lance, furrowed his eyebrows sadly.

"I ate mud back on Earth," she admitted. "Pieces of plants. Dandelions."

The audience didn't react. They definitely did not know what mud, plants, and dandelions were, but the paladins did. Despite the circumstances, Lance couldn't help but smile to himself. Of course Pidge would have the most obscure secrets.

"I went to protests on Earth without my parents' permission because I hate the government," she continued. _Very Pidge,_ Lance thought.

"Today I really just need a hug."

Lance's head shot up to look at her. Something about her was so pathetically _sad_ that Lance felt his heart shatter. _I should've known. I knew she seemed down. I should've hugged her. She would've been happier._ The audience laughed, and Lance felt anger start to work it's way throughout his body.

"Why would you need a hug today?" Urqo asked, an eyebrow raised cockily.

"I feel really stupid and ugly," Pidge explained. "I mean, I always do. But just significantly more today." She rubbed her arms. "I act like it doesn't bother me, but, like, it does. A lot."

Lance wanted to throw up when he heard the audience laugh.

How could Pidge ever think such a thing? And _all the time?_ Pidge was the smartest person Lance had ever met in his entire life, and she was two years younger than him. Not to mention being freaking _adorable_ , with her little curls and her choppy bangs, plus her face full of freckles. She was pretty, she was smart. How could she ever feel like she wasn't when she so clearly was?

"Ah, a weakling. Good choice," said an Allu behind Urqo. Lance's fist hurt from how hard he was clenching it.

Apparently Pidge heard the Allu. "I may not be very strong, but I can sure as hell fuck you up if you're mean to animals."

Lance's hand relaxed. _That's the Pidge I know._

The victory is short-lived. Allu audience members laugh. Urqo snorts. Another Allu onstage wolf-whistles, whacking his hand in the air as if he were to slap her ass. Allura saw this, and Lance heard her whimper in sympathy. All Lance could do was glare at the monster.

_Fucking disgusting._

Once the chatter and laughter died down, Urqo asked another question. "How are you feeling right now, paladin?"

Pidge shrugged. "I'm cold. Kinda tired. Why?"

"Are you in the mood to reveal some secrets to your fellow paladins? Maybe tell them something petty; something you'd never admit to their faces."

Pidge turned, not moving from her spot, and looked towards her team. Lance could hear Hunk struggling to try and cover his ears, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Shiro close his eyes as if it'd go away. Lance understands, though. He doesn't want to know anything he isn't supposed to.

She looked at Keith first. "I don't think your mullet's stupid. I just agree with Lance so he'll shut up."

"Hey!"

Though Keith clearly took it as a sort-of-compliment, he still winced.

Next, she looked at Hunk. "I actually like your sweater with all the spots on it. It isn't ugly. I just know you'd give it to me and I wouldn't know how to accept it from you, since you love it so much."

Hunk hung his head. "I would've," he mumbled.

Next, Shiro. "I didn't believe you when you said I'd find Matt and Dad. I never believed myself. I just liked to pretend. Thank God I actually found them."

That one hurt way too much. For someone who was so adamant and set on finding her two family members, she seemed like nothing could shake her trust. But in reality, and very secretly, she had been thinking the opposite the whole time. Lance never thought he'd have to assure Pidge about her family, he thought it'd always be the other way around. Apparently not.

Lance was next, and he could feel his heart rate start to pick up speed. He didn't want to know what she had to say to him. What if it was really bad? What if she admitted something like "I never liked you, you were always annoying." Or something so private that he could never look her in the eyes again? What if-

"I skipped class that one day to hang out with you," Pidge said as if it were today's weather. "I know I told you I had a stomach ache, but I didn't. Originally, it was so I could find some files on Matt and Dad, but I ended up staying longer to talk to you."

His head snapped up. _Wait, really?_ If this were a regular situation, Lance would recover by saying something cocky like "I knew it!" or "aw, you _do_ like spending time with me, Pidgey!" However, considering the circumstances, Lance just sat there with his mouth hanging open.

And Pidge now looked at Allura, as if what she had just told Lance wasn't a big deal!

Why would Pidge ever _skip class_ to hang out with _Lance?_ He understands the "digging for information" thing, but _staying longer to talk to him?_ Absolutely unheard of! And especially Pidge Gunderson, separate from the Katie Holt he knew now. When Lance first met Pidge, as the nerdy stick of a boy who rarely cracked a joke, he hung out with Lance and Hunk out of obligation, not choice. So why was Pidge, who Lance knows now as a techy badass girl, telling him that there was a point where she _chose_ to spend time with him? And not Hunk?

"I'm jealous of you, sometimes," Pidge said carefully. "You're pretty. People like you. They're _attracted_ to you. Unlike me."

"How could you ever think such a thing?" Allura cried.

"You're really pretty too, Pidge," Lance said wholeheartedly. He hoped this was helping.

She didn't look at him. Instead, she turned back to look at the audience. Lance realized that he hadn't even been paying attention to them in the recent confessions, but they sure had been paying attention to them. They didn't laugh, which Lance was happy to see, but they instead whispered and murmured to each other. It seemed better. That is, until Lance remembered Pidge's deep, dark, desperately hidden fear of public speaking.

And his blood started to boil again.

"Say some things about you. What have you been thinking lately?" Urqo demanded.

"I just turned sixteen," Pidge started. "I didn't tell anyone, but I wish I did. It would just be weird to tell them now. Belated birthday comments are shitty."

"Why didn't she say anything?" Shiro wondered aloud, his voice hushed.

Pidge crossed her arms, seemingly to keep herself warm from coldness that wasn't there. "Sixteen was the year I wanted to be mean. Like, I wanted people to be scared of me and stuff. I had this idea that I could make people cry, 'cause that's what you're supposed to do when you're one of those weird bullied kids in high school. And I have the opportunity to do that now, I mean, I'm a frickin' defender of the universe who could, quite literally, beat you the fuck up, but I just...don't want to anymore. It's not who I am."

"And why is that?" Urqo prodded.

She shrugged. "Dunno."

Urqo begrudgingly took this as an answer, since, if she said it, it was the truth. "Just..." he sighed, "keep talkin', kid. Say something personal."

"I wanna quit."

The answer came so fast it almost gave Lance whiplash. The paladins all looked at each other in shock. They didn't even need to ask what she wanted to quit, they knew. In retrospect, Lance thinks this was a dumb reaction. No matter how hard the paladins pretend, or try to ignore it, they all feel the same. They want to quit, too.

"I want to go back home. The last time I talked to my mom, she called me from home, and she told me she was worried, and-" Pidge cut herself off. Her voice had the scratchy tone it'd develop before crying, but no emotion came over her face. She continued to look unto the audience with no expression.

"...and I couldn't give a shit," she finished, finally.

Lance had heard this story multiple times. Mrs. Holt had called Pidge to ask how her mission was going, but it quickly turned into an argument when Pidge's mom admitted she was worried about her. Pidge was upset that her mom didn't seem to trust her, and hung up early and angrily. The three had discovered Shiro and followed Keith that night. For the amount of times they had come crying to each other about their families, a large amount was just about Pidge's deep regret for those last few minutes before her life changed forever.

"I have things I want to tell people, but am too scared to," she said. "Which is insane, because I have friends who get me now, and I don't tell them a lot of things. But when I do, they listen. I guess I'm just not used to that."

"What are you scared to tell them?" Urqo asked.

And that's when it all went to hell.

"I think I'm asexual."

Lance flinched so hard that the binding around his wrists tightened. Allura and Hunk started to cry. _This wasn't supposed to happen._ And the audience murmuring and laughing and gasping just made everything so much _worse._

Most of the team was queer in one way or another. Lance was bi, Keith was omni, Shiro was gay, Hunk was pan. They all got the chance to come out when they wanted. They all knew how it felt to be outed. They all knew how it felt to be rejected. They all got the time to discover who they were. So why didn't Pidge? There was something so painfully raw and familiar in the way that she didn't even know for sure.

It was more than okay that she was ace. It was terrifyingly horrible that she wasn't ready to say so and she had to anyway.

"I mean, I have a crush on a guy and I've just never felt any need to sleep with him."

_No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no-_

The audience gasped and broke out into bundles of gossiping. Urqo rose his eyebrow once more. "Oh?" he asked. "And who would that be? Maybe...one of your fellow paladins?"

Pidge didn't respond.

Lance still sat tensed up, waiting for a response that could ruin the paladins' relationships. But she didn't speak. She sat there, her eyes still glazed over, but now much clearer. Lance could almost see the amber color of her eyes again.

"This better not be wearing off already!" Urqo scowled. "Which paladin do you have feelings for?"

Still, no response.

Urqo growled and stormed over to the other paladins. He grabbed Hunk by the neck, pulling him off of the ground so high that his feet no longer stayed flat. Lance looked away as quick as he could, hurt by the sight. "Is it the yellow one?" he demanded. Pidge's body stood completely still, no reaction to Hunk's torture.

The general dropped Hunk onto his knees and took Keith by his neck next. However, Keith didn't just let it happen. He slashed at Urqo's arm, he kicked at his torso, he audibly threatened. But nothing. "How about the red one?"

"I mean, technically."

An answer. No.

Despite the circumstances, Lance felt his heart sink. Was it so crazy that a teeny tiny part of Lance kinda wanted her answer to be him? A part of him who wasn't trying to be cocky, a part of him that wouldn't have made fun of her for it?

_Yeah, it most definitely is!_

"Technically?" Urqo asked.

Of course Pidge had a crush on Keith. He was the _bad boy,_ and girls around her age liked that shit, right? Not to mention both of their sarcastic passive aggressive nature. Whoever said "opposites attract" _lied,_ because Pidge and Keith were so oddly similar that it almost upset Lance. It was almost annoying how he didn't notice it sooner, and how-

_Why are they all staring at me?_

The paladins were all looking at Lance right now, each with a solemn yet shocked look on their faces. He had no idea what was happening. Did he blank when something happened?

Lance tried to think about what had happened before. Urqo took Keith by the neck. He asked Pidge if she had a crush on Keith. She said "I mean, technically."

Oh.

_Oh._

Lance whipped his head to look at Pidge. Pidge who had a crush on him. Pidge who was very pretty, very smart, and had the time of day to be interested in _him._ Tall, dorky, awkward, try-hard Lance. This badass little fireball of absolute power had a crush on the most useless paladin.

And he didn't hate it.

The idea of dating Pidge didn't make him want to throw up into the audience like their laughter did. He didn't dislike the idea of going to the movies together and holding hands the whole time. He didn't dislike the idea of kissing her on the nose every morning after waking up next to her. He didn't dislike her at all. In fact, he liked all of these things. A bit too much.

_Wait, woah._

Urqo, who still didn't seem to get it (Lance thanked God that they didn't switch armor colors for the first time in his entire life) mumbled something aggressively under his breath. He snapped twice. Pidge's body slumped forward, and she stumbled to the side as if she had fallen out of a cyropod. She looked up. Her eyes were no longer cloudy, and her face finally showed a sense of panic. A second went by, and then another. Then the tears started to stream down her face in the utter _embarrassment_ that she must've been feeling.

Urqo walked back over to her and shoved her towards the paladins. Keith and Lance both reached out to catch her, but she staggered a bit and fell closer to Lance. Keith rubbed her back as best he could with his bindings, but Pidge was crying into Lance's neck.

The bindings snapped off of all of the paladins with no labor needed. "You may go," Urqo said. It read like a suggestion, but sounded like a demand.

Lance helped Pidge to her feet. "Hey, you're okay, you're fine. Hey," he said, tilting her head up to look her in the eye. Lance had to admit, it was refreshing to see her eyes full of life again, even if they were filled with tears. "You did fine, you're so brave, okay?" he insisted.

She nodded, and they started to walk behind the rest of the group.

"What did I say?" Pidge said. Lance tensed, trying to beat around the bush somehow, but he just couldn't find a way.

"Do you really want to know?" he asked. Pidge's eyes widened.

"Did I tell everyone about...?" She nodded towards him. Lance wouldn't have known what she meant at any other time in his life, but he gets it now. And he's okay with it.

"Yeah." Pidge's body completely sulked, and Lance reached out quickly.

"No, no, no! I mean, uh, like, I know about it...but I'm not...mad?"

Pidge looked up at him again, shock completely overwhelming her face. "Really?"

"Yeah, uh," Lance stuttered, "I kinda like it, actually. I mean, like, I'd be interested in...talking...about it? About us? If you are, that is."

Pidge laughed weakly, tears still wet in her voice. "Uh, yeah," she said. "I'd like to...talk about it. Us."

Lance hated to smile at a time like this, but he made an exception.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like to imagine that nobody brings up anything revealed in respect for Pidge. Except teasing Pidge for liking Lance once they start dating bc duh. And she comes out to them once she's ready :")


	11. my mind is running around her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm hits Lance's town. Hard. And it's just his luck that he'd be unable to leave work all night because of the damn thing...but the new girl in town is really cute and needs somewhere to stay. And when Lance recognizes her from his high school, he decides that maybe his luck isn't so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ELECTRIC LOVE (BORNS)
> 
> ay yall took me a minute to get back to this because school's started again and i'm recovering from a hand injury :/
> 
> ANYWAY
> 
> you could CONSIDER it to be a coffee shop au i guess? takes place in a coffee shop but it's not traditional., right, anyway. pining. just pining. that's the whole fic just _pining_ especially on Lance's part
> 
> this is less of a songfic and more of a "this song is playing in the background" fic, yanno?
> 
> i don't have any warnings for you this time other than the language one, as per usual, soo enjoy!
> 
> this was inspired by an au prompt from @izupie on tumblr <3

Lance definitely would throw his phone by this point if it wasn't his only source of entertainment.

As a coffee shop, you'd think that the local Altean Coffee should have something to do. Hipster things, sure, but at least _something_. All this shithole has are a few old magazines and a large shelf of fake books for the "aesthetic." And TVs, but of course, the storm makes them completely useless. The WiFi is busted, and all Lance could think about was how he kinda wished he wasn't so stubborn and had just agreed to that stupid unlimited data plan.

Thank God Lance always left a charger in the break room. And it was pretty lucky that the couch in there was a pull-out. The next twelve to fourteen hours will give Lance enough time to finally clean the damn bathrooms accurately, though that's not something to look forward to. And maybe the TVs will be back on eventually. Lance doubted he'll get much sleep tonight, so he might as well try.

He takes off his apron and hangs it up on the hook, farthest to the right, with a messy "LANCE" scrawled on the label. He punches out, knowing full well that that doesn't mean he gets to leave, and heads to the break room to set up camp for the night.

Turns out the couch isn't a pull-out.

In fact, the couch is a lot stiffer than Lance seemed to remember. And with all the stains on it that could possibly be from mold...he doesn't trust it.

In his frustration, Lance picks up all his stuff and moves it into the main room again. Why is it so much colder in here? He tosses his stuff onto a table and sits on the counter top near the cash register.

Lance crosses his arms. Uncrosses them. Kicks his feet a bit, like a child, but stops after about ten seconds. He stares at the pastries in the display. _At least I won't run out of food._ With a loud huff, Lance lets himself fall backwards, his body now sprawled across the counter. His head hangs off the edge ever so slightly, and his legs are completely dangling off of the other end of the surface, but Lance is too tall to do anything about it.

 _I should've just taken the job at Starbucks. They wouldn't do this shit to me at Starbucks. You know how much more money I'd be making at Starbucks? A lot! But I decided I had to be quirky and cool and the main character of a coming-of-age film, and I chose the non-chain, crappy mocha selling_ dishrag _that this place is. I mean, honestly, was it really that big of a deal if I just-_

_BOOM!_

Lance glances out the window to see more rain falling down after the thunder rang out. Papers soar past the cafe and some slam onto the window, dragging themselves along. The wind is intense. The rain patters loudly against the window and the ground, disturbing Lance from his peace. Well, the little peace he has left.

He almost misses the girl outside.

The sky is pitch black, so her small body is almost consumed by the darkness. Faint, but there. The way she moves doesn't match her surroundings. The wind is graceful in it's strength, pushing you back in a way that is ethereal and mystical. Yet the girl moves with force, with a sense of determination in every step. That's why Lance notices her. If not for her feisty stance, she'd blend in with the night.

He can't see her face, but he can see the general outline of her body. Lance can see her short hair swirling around her jaw and getting in front of her face, right around where her eyes should be. He can also see the map in her hands, which she has some how managed to keep still-ish, despite the wind and rain.

Lance hops off the table and pushes the door open. It takes a bit of effort against the wind, and he almost hits her in the face, but he holds it open. "Come inside!" he yells to her. She looks up, her whole body shaking. In a regular situation, Lance would try to explain to her that he wasn't trying to be weird, and that he was genuinely trying to help, but the storm was getting worse by the minute, and the girl couldn't bare it in the storm. She runs under his arm and into the cafe.

She's not facing him when he closes the door, but he get a bit of a look at her. She has medium-length reddish brown hair. She's small, smaller than he thought, yet pretty muscly. The girl is hunched over, cleaning her glasses with her shirt. God, her _clothes._ Whoever this girl was, she had been suffering in the storm with just a ratty t-shirt and ripped shorts. It was summer. Nobody needed to dress for such a cold day yet.

"What were you doing in the-" Lance catches himself. The girl turned around he _recognizes_ her. Immediately. Lance never thought he'd see her again, but here she was. A bit taller than when he last saw her, and her hair was pulled back into a high bun, though it spilled out of the up-do due to the rain.

"Holy shit, Lance McClain?" Pidge asks, putting her glasses back on and squinting at him incredulously.

"You say that as if I was just some kid at your school," Lance reprimands. He fidgets with his shirt, his anxiety about to set in. "Uh, but yeah. And you're...wow, you're Katie Holt. Holy shit."

"Since when do you call me 'Katie'?" she laughs, rubbing her arms and looking down.

_Great. So she's still as cute as she was in high school. Just great._

Lance stutters for a moment, then remembers his current situation. "You must be cold," he says finally. "Do you need anything? i could make you a hot chocolate, or something-"

"Is there anything I could change into?" Pidge asks quickly, then adds, "I really don't like being wet."

Lance's mind is just clean enough to not go too far down that rabbit hole. "Oh, there's an extra t-shirt in the back, and Allura always leaves a pair of shorts there, too. She's, uh, _a lot_ taller than you, but it should work. You can change in the break room." Lance pointed her in that direction, and Pidge nodded and walked off, still hugging herself.

Pidge turns around again. "Do you have any marshmallows for the hot chocolate?" she asks, almost hesitantly, as if she didn't want to intrude.

"Of course, we're not monsters," Lance laughs. "Still like them soaked?"

"I-" she laughs under her breath, "yeah, I do. I can't believe you remembered that."

Lance just smiles in response, not really sure how to tell her that he still remembers a lot of random facts about her. Whether those applied to her or not anymore is completely unbeknownst to him, but something deep down makes him hope they were still true. He remembers a lot. How she absolutely despises the yellow Sweet Tarts. How her favorite fruit were cherries, but she hated cherry flavored things. How she always drew inverted rainbows on her stuff. How she could fall asleep to heavy metal and did so pretty often. How she dyed her hair when she was fourteen, but ended up cutting off the dyed tips because of her fear of getting in trouble, therefore resulting in her choppy hair. That hair wasn't so choppy anymore, now more stylish and much longer.

As Pidge walks into the back, the door shutting behind her, Lance hops over the counter instead of walking around it (Allura isn't here, might as well take the chance). He starts up the hot chocolate machine, reaching behind it for the jar of marshmallows, and tries to completely block out the idea of Pidge getting changed in the back room.

The hot chocolate machine isn't new by any means, yet hasn't been around long enough to be considered "old." It came in Lance's second year working at Altean Coffee, he remembers that specifically. Lance has been working at the coffee shop since his freshman year at New Altea University (named after the town, of course, just like everything else around), which he's now going into his final year at, after the summer ends. So, while the machine wasn't any older than two years, it still growled and rattled like an old horse at his family's farm. The noise annoyed Lance to no end, and watching the drink pour into Pidge's mug made him crave some too, so now he has to listen to the thing _again._

As he makes his own, he remembers to soak Pidge's marshmallows in her hot chocolate.

He hears the back door creak open, and then shut, as footsteps came closer to the main room. Lance turns to look at Pidge.

The shirt wasn't drowning her, but was clearly still a bit too big. The shirt has a really big "KEEP CALM AND DRINK ALTEAN COFFEE" in pink cursive. And Allura's shorts are definitely made for a larger person, with the leg holes being much wider than her actual legs and the waist band pulled high up underneath her shirt. She's got a pink towel hanging loosely around her arm, as if she just came from a shower. It should be a funny sight, but all it does is remind him of their old friendship.

"I, uh, finished the hot chocolate!" he explains hastily, holding the mug in her direction. She smiles gratefully and takes it from him, murmuring a quick thank you.

"Is there any way you think you could, um, dry my hair...while I drink this?" she asks, raising her arm a bit to show him the towel, as if he hadn't noticed.

"Oh. Yeah, that's fine." His voice cracks up an octave. _God, I hope she didn't hear that._

Her stifled laugh seems to prove that she, in fact, did.

Pidge sits down on the counter, her ankles crossed. She takes gentles sips while Lance squeezes out the water from her auburn hair.

"Uh...so...how have you been?" Lance asks awkwardly.

"I've been okay, I guess," Pidge says, wiping at her lip with her arm. "What...about you?"

"I've been good, actually," he answers, still patting her hair down. "You know, as good as you can be for a poor aviation major working at a coffee shop." Lance sees a tangle in her hair and gently combs it out with his fingers. "So...where are you going to school? Or, are you not going to school? Or like...?"

Pidge snorts lightly. "I'm going to school _now._ Just moved here for school, actually."

 _Please, please, please, please, please, please!_ "And where would that be?"

"Oh, New Altea."

_YES!_

"That's where I go, actually," Lance says, matter-of-factly. Pidge whips her head around, hitting his hand with her head.

"Wait, really?" she laughs (and Lance tries to ignore that it's still, like, really fucking pretty). "I had no idea. That's so cool. We can see each other more, it's...been a while."She turns around again.

"Yeah," Lance admits, a bit sadly. "Did you, um, transfer? 'Cause you'd be in your second year, right?"

"Uh, well, no, not exactly." Lance notices that he's fidgeting with her mug, specifically the handle. "I know I was like, obsessed with my college applications last time you saw me. And I _did_ get into colleges, it's just...you know, after my dad died, I took a gap year." She clears her throat. "Uh, so I did technically transfer. I was gonna go to Garrison U, but I told them about my situation, and they kinda just...let me go, after that. And I'm here now."

Lance had absolutely no idea Mr. Holt had died. He knows that he used to work as a pilot, and something probably went wrong there, but he didn't ask Pidge in respect for her privacy. "I'm...really sorry for your loss. Your dad was a great guy."

Pidge laughs under her breath. "Tell me about it. He was one of the first people to really believe in me. I'm over it now...well, as 'over it' as I'll get, but it still hurts sometimes."

"I get it, it's like when my abuela died," he says sympathetically. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you." Lance knows that he very well could've been there for her. He could've dropped his things to comfort her, anything for a friend. But it's easier to lie, even though Lance is pretty sure Pidge knows.

"No, it's okay," she says. "Thank you, though. I'm okay now anyway." Lance sets down the towel, since her hair is as dry as it'll get, and he sits next to her on the counter, with his mug now in hand.

He looks at her for a second, trying to process what was actually happening to him right now. "What happened to us?" he let slip.

"What do you mean?" Pidge asks, setting down her mug. "Friends drift apart after high school, it's normal. And you were in college, I was in high school, and you lived so many miles away...it's hard."

"Well, I know," Lance says. "But...we were us! I mean, I talked to you _every day,_ we FaceTimed every Saturday, went to dinner on Sunday nights, hell, I even _worked_ with you, at a really shitty movie theater, even though I hate the smell of popcorn. We were different."

Pidge sighs. "No, we weren't." She leans all her weight on her arms now, resting her hands behind her. "Very few people talk after high school. Like I said, it's normal."

"How did we go from best friends to two people who don't even send each other a happy birthday text?" Lance wonders aloud. "It sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yep," Pidge says, popping the 'p.' "But who knows? Maybe now that we're going to school tomorrow, things will be different?"

Lance looks down bashfully, being quietly reminded of his feelings for her. _Her smile still glows, dammit!_

"I'd like it to be different," he stammers, looking up at Pidge again, scratching at his arm. She smiles bigger, giving him a second heart attack, and she reaches back for her hot chocolate.

They sit like that, just for a moment. Two old friends drinking hot chocolate in a coffee shop in the middle of a huge storm. Not much conversation because, well, what is there really to say?

Of all of the things to say, somehow, Pidge decides on this one:

"You know, I had the absolute biggest crush on you in high school."

Lance chokes on his drink, ramming his fist into his chest to clear his throat. "I- wow!" he announces, a bit too loud, still coughing. "I'm...yeah, wow."

"I'm sorry if that freaked you out," Pidge says quickly. "I don't feel that way anymore or anything, so like-"

_Oh._

"No, um, I liked you too, actually," Lance laughs. "I mean, like, a lot."

 _"Me?"_ Pidge asks incredulously. "You had gorgeous girls constantly fawning over you and you liked _me?_ And high school Pidge, of all people. She was a bitch, you know."

Lance has to laugh again. "Yeah, she was. High school Lance had a thing for mean girls, though."

"No you did not, shut up!" Pidge playfully shoves him, but she overshoots and he knocks his back into the pastries display (now thankfully empty after closing). Her energy really was still like electricity preserved in a bottle, huh?

After they stop laughing, Lance lets out a sigh. Pidge chuckles to herself. "I was so in love with you. High school Pidge would be absolutely shitting herself right now."

"So would high school Lance."

"We both liked each other so much, and we just...missed it!" she cackles. "We completely missed each other, just, slid past each other, like tectonic plates. Weird. I thought I was more observant than that, but I guess not."

"You know," Lance teases, "this explains the 'angrily insisting we go to homecoming together' thing."

Pidge blushes. "That was before I liked you! I just wanted to go as friends-"

"Uh huh," Lance smirks, and Pidge hits his shoulder again.

"Well, this explains the Sunday night dinners, now doesn't it?" Pidge retaliates, and all Lance could do is sigh. _Yeah, she's right about that one._

"Ew, we were so stupid," Pidge giggles. "Do you think we would've dated if one of us said something?"

"I would've jumped at the opportunity." _I still would._

"Well, so would I, so that answers the question," she decides, sipping at the hot chocolate again. It doesn't look nearly as hot anymore. It's not even steaming.

How would life be different for Lance if he and Pidge had been dating? Well, he definitely would've been talking to her these past couple of years instead of getting through college alone. He'd probably be living with her now. Possibly engaged, being him, after all. He would've been there for her when Sam died. He'd probably still work at Altean Coffee, but maybe he wouldn't be doing so bad on money. And maybe he'd have the confidence to ask for a promotion or something. Or quit.

Lance realizes he's been weirdly silent and clears his throat. "Hey, uh, we have some board games in the back. I was planning on just, like, sadly knocking the pieces together, but since there's two of us now, and we'll be here all night, would you wanna maybe play?"

"Do I? I'm still that competition whore you met in high school," she says, matter-of-factly, setting aside her now finished hot chocolate (how did she do that so fast?). "Do you have the game of passive-aggressiveness?"

"'The game of passive-aggressiveness'? All we've got is, like, Yahtzee and Sorry."

"Yeah, Sorry, the game of passive-aggressiveness."

Lance stands up and starts walking towards the back. "Elaborate, please?"

"You literally knock people off the board and go, 'oh, sorry!' Such a bitch move. We're playing it."

"Oh, see, I remember now that you're the queen of pettiness."

"I resent that."


End file.
